How to Set Boundaries for Your Children

Franklin P. Jones once said, "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." There is no greater truth. Children can be such a joy one minute and grating on our last nerve the next. Is there a secret to raising healthy, happy, well-mannered children? As a matter of fact, there is. It begins with you, the parent, setting boundaries for your children.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

1. Examine your own values and beliefs. Children do not come with a list of pre-installed boundaries. Boundaries are developed, as needed, by loving and concerned parents. Boundaries should be reasonable, age appropriate and consistently enforced.
2. Begin setting boundaries for your child at a young age. The word NO is a common tool parents use to teach safety boundaries to toddlers. Age- appropriate boundaries for this age might include not wandering into the street, not playing with electrical sockets and not taking toys from other children.
3. Involve your children in setting boundaries and consequences of inappropriate behavior. Be sure everyone is clear on the boundary and the consequence. Involving your children helps them better understand why the boundary is important to you and what will happen if they choose to break it.
4. Maintain consistency. A child should know that each and every time a boundary is crossed there will be consequences. It should not make a difference where the child is, who is around or what the circumstances are.
5. Reevaluate and amend boundaries as the child gets older and begins to understand and develop values of his own. Children need room to express themselves and discover what feels right to them. Again, involve your child in setting these new boundaries and consequences.
6. Set reasonable and consistent consequences. Make sure the punishment is not greater than the crime or as the old saying goes, "Don't shoot at a gnat with a cannonball." Some well-tested consequences are: verbal reminders, immediate removal from an activity, cancellation of a future activity, temporary loss of privileges, removal of a special toy, and time-out.

Tips & Warnings

• It is natural for children to test their boundaries.
• Setting too many boundaries can give children a negative perception of the world around them.
• It is much more difficult to teach boundaries to older children who have never had boundaries.