How to Stay Friends with Your Ex-Husband
Some marriages were meant to be. Some were meant to be friendships. Once the divorce is over, depending on how messy it was, you'll know if the two of you are in good enough emotional states to remain friends. Chances are, if you were close enough to be married, there are still a lot of shared interests there to make a great friendship. Sometimes the chemistry that didn't work within the intensity of a marriage can work wonderfully in the more relaxed realm of a friendship. If you and your ex find you still like each other, give this different type of connection a try.
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Instructions
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Meet for lunch. Find out if your ex is interested in being friends.
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Try doing something on neutral territory, like going out for a movie or pizza. Include friends that both of you love.
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The marriage is over, so it's not fair bringing up any negative leftovers from that union. Treat this friendship as the new installment. Let go of the past and enjoy this present.
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Use your great knowledge of your ex's heart to really celebrate who he is, and your connection. Encourage a close relationship by calling often, respecting any new boundaries and being there for him as any good friend would.
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Tips & Warnings
If there are kids involved in your marriage/divorce, a friendship between you and your ex is the greatest gift you can give them.
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Comments
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erika1952
Dec 13, 2008
kaa1177 - I was in your position just about a year ago; my husband said he wanted to end our marriage, and left me. He also said he still cared about me and wanted to be friends...but it just wasn't possible (or even healthy) until I had worked through a lot of anger, confusion, sadness and grief. Now, almost a year later, we are learning to be friends again. AND I am so glad not to be married to him anymore: my life is better and happier on a whole variety of levels. Please, take care of yourself and give it time. Very warmly, Erika -
Juliet Myfanwy Johnson
Oct 28, 2008
There are so many different kinds of break ups. Sometimes having space and time (and counseling) can help a relationship come back together. Really listening to what your partner needs and wants (and what they're going through) helps. I'm sorry for your pain, it never feels good to be the lover, wanting more when the other person isn't there for you.
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kaa1177
Oct 28, 2008
how do you do it though? my husband asked for a seperation 6 weeks ago, is staying with his mother, & I am heartbroken, I know we both made mistakes & still love each other, but dont feel we can live together, not right now, maybe never again, he wants to be friends & still cares about me & loves our kids but I'm the one who wants him in my life as more than a friend...I dont know what to do
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Karen Cotton
Jan 26, 2008
Keeping things friendly is essential for not only your kids, but also for mutual friends. Often they feel torn as a result of a split. Great e-how!
