How to Date Later in Life

We’re not all in school now, so the ability to check out the field, get a take from friends, and walk home together is a bit more challenging. Besides that, it’s been awhile. On the other side, we’ve had some experience with that thing we call life. We perhaps have a better idea of what we’re looking for. Even though we’re out of practice, we can wend our way onto this field with finesse and grace.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Humor
• Self knowledge
• Confidence

1. Couple Walking Toward Old Saloon Many ways exist to find someone to date. Getting out of the house and mingling with people is a good start. Your local coffee shop, church, gym, bridge, hiking or biking group are a few of the places you can mix with people. Go anywhere that you enjoy the activity. Then whether you meet someone or not, you’re time isn’t wasted. You don’t have to wear a sign (“Desperately looking for a date”) but you can tell the people that you know that you are scouting.
2. Consider local singles’ groups. Many have activity groups so you can do things with other singles. It’s good to meet someone in a group setting, where you can see them interact with other people. The group activity takes the pressure off finding someone.
   
   If you meet someone you would like to date, you could suggest coffee or a glass of wine, something with limited cost and commitment. Meet at a local cafe. Don’t invite anyone to your home or give them your last name before you feel comfortable doing so. Online dating is also an option. Check it out at this site.
3. Once you’ve made that date, have reasonable expectations. You might be swept off your feet, but the greater probability is that you’ll meet another person who has experienced life’s ups and downs like you have. Many will be divorced or widowed. Age may have taken its toll. Some have gone through alcohol or drug rehab programs. No one is fresh to life.
   
   Don’t over- or under-dress. Relax, smile, and try suspending judgment. Just think of this as getting to know another person, whether or not you ever see them again.
4. Getting to know you: one advantage of online dating is people often have already said quite a bit about themselves. If you don’t want to date a smoker, you’ve said that. Particularly if you meet someone in another way you’ll probably be talking about yourself and listening to them talk about themselves. (Make sure it’s mutual).
   
   Ask questions (but not as if it were a job interview). Keep it light. What do you do, or are you retired? What do you like to do now? Have children? Like to travel? Read any good books lately? Ask one question and wait. You don’t have to talk all the time!
5. Be yourself. As you visit with the other person, you may start to get an idea of whether you would like to see them again or not. If you know you don’t want to see them again, don’t make excuses. Say, “It was a pleasure meeting you. Thank you.”
   If you would like to see them again, and you don’t have any clear signal whether they want to get together again or not, ask, “Would you like to meet for coffee next week?”
   
   If they don’t say yes, assume the answer is no. Say goodbye and chalk it up to experience. Do only what is comfortable for you, but be clear about what that is. Remember, dating can be challenging at any age. Learn from your experiences and carry on!

Tips & Warnings

• Be honest about yourself. There's no point in posting a picture of you 20 years and 50 pounds thinner, but that's what men have told the writer women often do.