How to Make New Friends Among Old Friends In A New Place

While much of the movement as of late has been towards virtual meeting and away from face to face contact (never was a thing more in place than the email accounts of companies with employees shielded from one another behind the shadow of their cubicles) the facts are true that eventually you have to get out and meet people

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• dislocation
• initiative
• mouth
• ideas
• sense of humor

How To Make New Friends Among Old Friends In A New Place

1. Establish Your Needs: Well, you don’t have to get out and meet people but it is generally a good idea to keep a few friends that you have in the physical world so that you can walk out into a group with another person or have dinner with someone and not feel like you’re a lame duck or the least bit self conscious because you’re eating alone. If you’ve worked in a restaurant and you’re not too far gone, then you may be comfortable sitting alone in a restaurant, but nowhere other than a meal is better suited to haughty conversation and raising a glass. So unless you make a habit of raising your glass to yourself and muttering conversations all your own, friends are a part of that equation.
2. Advanced Scouting: One of the best ways to meet new people is through people you once knew. If you’re moving totally across the country and you don’t have a fat rolodex then you may need to dig deep. Call people you think may have said they had lived in the area, reach out, network; it’s the only way to survive in hostile waters. You may end up connecting with people you hadn’t ever even considered just by reaching out to people you once knew and asking.
3. Keep Your Appointments: Another thing that people hate (generally) is people who are late or completely absent from made appointments. When you make a habit of missing appointments, you’re just asking for peoples scorn. Rather, why not try to show up early, snag a table, make your presence known, leave your name at the door, and order a drink for your guest!
4. A Little Goes A Long: When you’re trying to make new friends, it’s the same as it was in grade school. Almost everyone is shy, socially awkward, and desperately wants to make nice. So just by taking a little bit of initiative and “breaking the ice” your small gestures can go miles and miles.
5. Allow Gravity: People are generally receptive towards and accepting of other nice people. If you feel yourself gravitating towards someone and you find yourself calling them, hanging out with them, and things seem to be going well, let it! The same is true if the opposite happens; never a time where gravity so sweet.
6. Allow Reality: There will be times when something goes wrong; maybe you were disallowing gravity, maybe you’d said something which was taken the wrong way, and the calls or hanging out stopped. You’re an adult. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, own up to your mistakes, and move on. If they were a friend worth having, they’ll appreciate your candor and everything will be fine. If not, maybe they were never really that much of a friend to begin with.

Tips & Warnings

• listen to your instinct
• own up to your own actions
• don't behave like a baby