Step1
GET OVER IT
Scene: Your boyfriend let you down and turned out to be a [cheat; liar; commitment phobe or friend] so the relationship ended and now you're back on the market.
Nothing will get you back on track faster than incorporating dating into your social life. But getting out there too soon will probably doom the next relationship too. Why you ask? Because you have to learn the lessons the last break-up was designed to teach you. Use that knowledge to really understand how you've progressed and grown. What was it that attracted you to him in the first place, and how does that tie into whatever ended the relationship? Is this a recurring pattern common to your exes? How can you avoid this pitfall next time? Fully dissecting the catalyst for the break-up is important so you can figure out what to do differently next time. Did you pick him for the wrong reason or did you just ignore early warnings? Figuring this out will build confidence while you ready yourself to try again. Think of it like a team watching footage of a football game after a loss and then going on to victory.
Keep a positive attitude, afterall, God gave you a second chance to find your soulmate. The alternative is actually marrying "Mr. Wrong" and having much bigger problems than an empty dance card. So now is the time to take inventory of what I call the relationship transcript. Remove all the emotion from how you felt and scrutinize what went right and wrong. Did you ignore early red flags? Maybe there were signs that there was someone else. Or did you just make a bad choice to begin with? For example, was he the rebound guy? A would be one-night stand? A distant cousin? Pinpoint what went wrong and how it happened so that history won't repeat itself! At the same time, decide what positive things you can take from the relationship. Think about all the good things you appreciate about him. No, not for torment, for future reference. It's amazing how much we can figure out that we want from a relationship from past experience. Simple things that probably weren't even on our radar. Did you appreciate his devout faith? Maybe he listened to you and gave really good advice when you had a problem at work. Seemed little at the time, but the reason God put him in your life was so that you could piece meal the traits that you need in a mate. That way you can identify him when he comes along.
Step2
REARRANGE YOUR SCHEDULE
Now is your chance to get the most out of your free time. Couldn't get your boyfriend to watch chick flicks? Call up all your best girlfriends and host a regular girls night. Rent every chick flick, musical, independent, foreign film he didn't want to watch and make some Jiffy Pop. There's no greater joy than recapturing an experience you may have denied yourself. It's both gratifying and empowering.
Did Mr. Wrong cut into your "me time" that you used to use for keeping up with Oprah's book club, journaling, church, family or volunteer work? These are examples which obviously vary, but make it a point to reconnect with yourself. Buy a new journal, catch up on your reading, visit with family and/or attend a church service. These activities will not only occupy your time, but will also help you to stay grounded.
Find someway to incorporate physical activity into your week. No I don't mean run to the local gym and spend a fortune on personal training sessions. Maybe you could start taking 30 minute walks around your neighborhood. Conditions outside not ideal? No biggie, go to the local shopping mall. Many communities have activity centers that are free or very inexpensive. If you're more athletic, join an intramural sports team. Try the YMCA for starters, also many large cities even have single' s softball leagues. Can't stand the sight of sweat? It's OK, maybe bowling is more up your alley. If it involves moving around, it counts. Golfing is a great way to connect with nature and rub elbows with eligible bachelors, but it's very expensive. If lessons aren't in your budget, ask someone you know to teach you. Go to the local thrift store to buy a used club or two and head to the driving range. If there's no one to teach you, get form and technique basics off the internet or any golf book and teach yourself! Do something physical that you'll look forward to a few times a week. Remember, this is about self reliance. Once you have a pretty consistent routine, you'll eventually begin to form relationships with new people of both genders and that's a big step in the right direction.
Step3
RE-DO YOU
Once you've created a regular routine that you enjoy, allow someone to share your time. The key is that they have to share you with all the incredible activities that keep you the happy busy person that you are. Don't make the mistake of allowing a new relationship to replace everything else you have incorporated into your life.
Step4
REALITY CHECK
One very important question we all have to ask ourselves at one point or another is, "Am I selling myself short?" That is, have you settled because you were just too impatient to wait for a good guy? So many women switch gears from selective to desperate once the age they consider old approaches/passes them by. In the words of Lauren Hill: "...respect is just a minimum, don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem." In other words, don't sell yourself short by settling for a relationship that isn't what you want and need. This is important, because if you can't separate "Mr. Right" from "Mr. He'll Do", then you're in store for a lifetime of one painful disappointment after the next. Not to mention potentially missing out on your soul mate. In other words, you may be letting your future husband meet and marry someone else while you waste time with the wrong guy. Trust me, whether it's year 1 or year 10, cut your losses! Regret and resentment will eventually destroy the relationship anyway.
So use your head and your heart to live and love wisley.
Enthusiast 
