How to Listen to Your Self Talk and then Make Changes

Listening to your self talk is an important step in controlling your attitude and thus your life. Without self talk no one would be able to control their emotional state or rise above any challenges. It isn't always a short term solution. Some things take more time than other things.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. When you are feeling down or feeling elated the same thing occurs internally. You talk yourself into the respective feelings. If a snow storm hits and it takes you four hours to get home instead of thirty minutes, you are usually distraught and angry by the time you get home. If your boss praises the work you have done, you have a feeling of contentment and satisfaction. In both cases the same thing occurred within.
2. How can two divergent thoughts be powered by the same thing that is internal? The way you speak to yourself or self talk is a powerful motivator. It can bring about tremendous changes from elation to depression (if it is not chemically induced). Think about the last time you were happy or sad. The talking inside your head was instrumental in how you felt and dealt with the situation.
3. If someone I know, or barely know, whether it is at a friend’s house or work, tells me that I am a jerk, how am I going to react? Initially, I would be angry. Upon further inspection I would mull over the situation and self talk. Listen to your inner voice and see how it is being played out. You have the choice to change the inner wording of your mind. You could tell yourself through self talking, “I know I am not a jerk, far from it. That guy doesn’t even know me or know anything I have done or accomplished.” Upon further thought I would add, “I am going to ignore him because I know he is wrong about me. I can either kill him with kindness or ignore him but I will make the determination of how I feel, not him.”
4. Otherwise, you would do the opposite with your self talk. “Why the hell is he calling me a jerk? What did I do to him? Screw him and I will tell him that!” Did you note the difference in my behavior and reaction to his statement? I had the choice of how I would react based on listening to my self talk.
5. It’s all about the choice you make. If you listen to your self talk you will be amazed at how you can change your attitude which affects the fundamental essence of who you are to yourself and to others. By changing the verbiage or the repetition of your inner wordings you can manipulate yourself into thinking better about yourself and others. In other words, if you consistently self talk positively about yourself you are liable to be more positive in your attitude and general well being. So the next time you receive a comment that you either like or dislike, listen to your self talk and notice how you can change your response to the situation. You will be amazed at the constructive change that can occur.

Tips & Warnings

• Have the ability to recognize self talk, whether it is positive or negative.
• Have a willingness to want to change.
• Don't be discouraged if you don't notice any change right away.
• It takes time for it to work.

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