Step1
Developing a rapport with an estranged friend or family member can prove difficult. If the estrangement was based on your doing, it would be easier to rectify the friendship than if it was the other way around.
Step2
If you are the one that caused the alienation and you want to right a wrong, then it probably would be a good idea if you contacted the person personally. If you don’t have their address, phone or email, then by all means, enlist the help of someone. However, for the rectification, it should be done by you to ensure the seriousness on your part. It tells the other individual that you are sorry and are a big enough person to come forward and either asks for forgiveness or to try to explain your position. The latter one does not entail another argument. If you see another argument brewing, forgo it and just explain that you want the friendship to continue and it would be the right time to let go of the past and move forward.
Step3
The past cannot be undone. What’s done is done. By controlling your reaction to something that transpired years ago, the basis for renewed friendship becomes stronger. The ball then goes into his or her court. You did your part and now it is up to the individual to make a decision. Whether the outcome is positive or negative, remember you did the right thing and there is nothing more you can do but chalk it up to their loss.
Step4
However, if the estrangement was caused by the other individual, that may make it harder for a reunification. If the other person is still angry over something you said or did, whether it was done yesterday or forty years ago, it would be up to the person to want to renew the friendship. If the person still retains a chip on his or her shoulder, then the possibility that a make up will take place would be unlikely. That being said, there is no reason not to try. The worst a person can do is say no.
Step5
If it is, or was a friend, then you move on if they are not interested. There are many people who you can befriend. However, if it is a family member, it may prove difficult, especially if you two lived in the same state and competed for family gatherings. The best thing to do is try a direct approach. If you initiated the fight and want to talk again, you should do it yourself to prove the seriousness of your commitment. Nevertheless, it has the potential of becoming a big problem if one of your family members initiated the squabble and he or she does not reciprocate your attempt to be friends again. My suggestion is perseverance. Continue, at regular intervals, to try to make contact. Sooner or later he or she will slowly budge from their stubbornness and make contact, or their obstinate behavior will terminate your benevolence. In that case, what else can you do? You did everything. Don’t compound the problem if they refused your offer. Don’t start talking badly about the person, because you will never get them to talk to you again. Don’t avoid them either. Try to acknowledge their presence if you two have to go to the same dwelling. Other family members will notice you are really trying to mend fences. That may spark someone else talking to them. That would be the last resort. To have someone talk to them for you should all other venues fail. If that last ditch effort doesn’t pay off, then patience and perseverance is one of the only alternatives. The bottom line is to keep trying.
Authority 
