How to Celebrate Holidays with Kids Whose Military Parents are Deployed

Holidays are stressful on many occasions. During holidays, children with one or both parents in the military face obstacles that other children don’t. Holidays are even more of a challenge for kids who are coping with stress already. Different ages of children show different reactions. Make the most of holidays with these children.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

1. Caregivers must care for themselves. It is difficult for someone used to having a support system to be the sole parent, even more so for grandparents or other caregivers. Make sure health concerns are addressed. Seek support for overwhelming events.
2. Talk to children about the parent who is deployed and the holiday in terms they can understand. Preschool aged children will need basic information. As a child gets older and understands more, there will be more of a chance to talk about feelings and the challenges of being apart. Honest conversation will be more productive than putting up a false front of happiness.
3. Honor traditions. As much as possible, uphold family traditions. Even with an absent parent, those traditions are comforting to adults and to children. Continuity year to year allows life to move forward.
4. Include the deployed family member in the family celebration. This may mean making and mailing a care package, receiving a phone call during dinner or even a video conference with the service member. Allow the children as much contact with the absent parent as is feasible, even if it means simply mailing cards and letters. Get photos of important events and send them to the deployed soldier to share them.
5. Include other deployed families in your holiday plans. It will feel less difficult and lonely to spend an event with someone who completely understands the situation and feelings. This type of support is best provided by someone who is walking down the same path.

Tips & Warnings

• If a tradition is too much work and becomes overwhelming; skip it and don't feel guilty. If a caregiver is stressed, the children won't enjoy the celebration.
• Know the signs of depression in children and be prepared to deal with the issue if it comes up.