How to Make (Almost) Every Date Great

Caught a case of the dating doldrums? Been on more bad dates than you can count? Think dating feels more like work than fun? It's true, dating can be a torturous endeavor, but with a little savvy and pre-planning, it can also be a joyful, thrilling, uplifting experience. Follow these steps to ensure (almost) every date you go on is a smash success.

Instructions

How to Make (Almost) Every Date Great

1. Get clear about what you want. Are you dating simply to go out and meet different types of people or are you dating to find lasting commitment? Are you dating in hopes of getting lucky or are you dating because you just want somebody to join you Friday nights on the town? Explicitly defining your expectations before you start dating will help you attract the right matches.

2. Set the mood. Take extra time to get ready before heading out on your date. Put on music that makes you feel hot, fun and energized. Wear your favorite outfit. Say to yourself, "We're going to have a great time tonight."

3. Bring a gift. Make a CD. Pick flowers from your garden. Wrap a book of poetry. Give an exotic piece of fruit. Arriving with a little token of your affections always gets things off to a warm start.

4. Have a plan and a backup plan and a backup, backup plan. There's no quicker way to kill a date than staring at each other and repeating, "What do you want to do? I don't care, what do you want to do?"

5. Only have eyes for your date. Don't check out the bartender. Don't stare at the television screen across the room. Don't look at your cell phone to see if anybody called. Make your date feel special, even if it's clear from the beginning that you won't be going out again.

6. Listen as much as you talk; talk as much as you listen. It's no fun to date somebody who stands on a soapbox all night. Likewise, it's no fun to date somebody who has nothing to say.

7. Ask juicy questions. These don't have to be racy questions, just questions that really peek your interest. Don't feel obligated to stick with the standard, "Where do you work? How many siblings do you have? What music do you listen to?" fare. Dive in. Debate. Indulge the nitty gritty. Talk about world affairs, about creativity, about faith, about magic, about passion. Talk about whatever really gets your blood flowing. Conversations on these topics will reveal more about each of you than simply reciting your respective dating resumes.

8. Play a game. And here I don't mean a seduction game with ridiculous rules and hidden agendas. I mean a bonafide game. Darts. The crossword. Hang man. Spin the bottle. Whatever. I carry a small deck of cards in my purse, and I have transformed many a boring date into a success by whipping them out and dealing a game of hearts.

9. Trust your instincts. If the date isn't going anywhere, if you sincerely are bored out of your mind, if you have a bad vibe about the person you're with, pay attention to that feeling and call it quits. It's no fun for anyone if you stretch out a date you want to end.

Tips & Warnings

• Some dates are hopeless and will fail no matter what you do. Chalk it up to fate and move on.