Step1
Do not assume you will have pain. The most important thought you can focus on is, “I don’t know whether pain will accompany labor and delivery and if it does, I will be strong enough to deal with it mentally.” Rather than create pressure by assuming there will be no pain, allow yourself to be neutral. If you are overly optimistic and insist that you will experience no pain, you may set yourself up for an internal battle when labor begins, especially if pain arises.
Also, do not assume that you are in for excruciating pain. Those who experience pain are most likely those who expect it and plan for it. Go into your birth experience with a surrendering attitude, not a clenched, fearful, dread. The “fight or flight” response will signal danger and block the optimum blood flow within your body, inhibiting you from a shorter, less painful birth.
Step2
Strengthen your perineum for birth. One way to decrease the likelihood of a vaginal tear or episiotomy (intentional cut to enlarge the vaginal opening) is to strengthen the perineum. In addition to “Kegel” exercises during pregnancy, squatting and tailor-sitting exercises will help strengthen muscles used during birth. Perineal massage is very important and should be practiced during the last six to eight weeks of pregnancy. Although doctors do not educate patients on this technique, information is readily available on how to perform perineal massage.
During birth, your partner or attendant should apply warm compresses to the perineum. A mother who is able to give birth with gravity as her ally (i.e., delivery in a squatting or standing position) will have a 10% less chance of tearing. Do not hurry the birth or be overly aggressive about pushing. Patience is important.
Step3
Arrive at the hospital or go into the delivery room well into labor.
Most mothers will tell you that labor often includes hours of pain. While some women feel safer and more comfortable laboring in the hospital, there are more freedoms at home, especially during early labor.
The hospital room or maternity ward can be restrictive. Upon arrival, a woman may be checked for dilation, given an IV and hooked up to an electronic fetal monitor. As time goes on, the woman may be given pitocin to speed up her labor and the amniotic sac may be broken. The pitocin is a strong drug that often increases the strength and length of contractions and many women are in such excruciating pain that they request more drugs to ease their pain. Often times the body and mind become confused and do not work perfectly together. Over 35% of women who take pain medication (epidurals) end up with C-sections because of the “failure to progress.”
In addition to freedom of movement and not being put on a “time clock,” other advantages for staying home include: no intrusive or painful pelvic exams, no pressure to take drugs, the right to eat or drink something other than ice chips, and privacy.
When you arrive at the hospital early, many “strangers” will come and go – visiting you, perhaps checking you as you wait for labor to progress. The institutional setting has a phony feel and you are in the midst of a highly personal experience. Avoid it as long as possible.
Step4
Visualize the baby’s passage into the world rather than focus on your own pain.
Because the pain is often intense during massive contractions, it is hard for women to get their minds off the pain they are experiencing. Other than playing some mind games, consider what the baby is feeling. Pretend you are the baby making your way into the world. Consider the five senses: How would your body feel? What does it sound like? What do you see? How about taste and smell? How can your mother (you) help you to make this a pleasant experience?
Step5
Be in top shape physically and mentally. I’ve been discussing many mental strategies for a painless birth, but be sure to be in top shape physically, including being at the desired weight for your body. Follow excellent nutrition and establish an exercise regimen throughout pregnancy. Condition yourself during pregnancy with Kegel exercises and perineum massage.
Giving birth with strength means that you need to find inner peace and confidence. When you are content with your life, relationships with others and your pregnancy, there’s no stopping you. You are birthing from within and no one can take you off your path. Nothing will deter you from your goals and dreams. If you are consumed with positive thoughts and feelings, there is no room for worry, doubt, fear and anxiety about a painful, long labor.
Most people do not consider or care what it takes to have a successful birth. Their focus is on safety and putting the birth behind them. I would venture to guess that your outcome will be very close to what you focus on. I’ve shared just a few ways you can have a less painful birth. I invite you to listen to the first and only motivational childbirth CD titled YOUR BODY, YOUR BIRTH: SECRETS FOR A SUCCESSFUL AND SATISFYING BIRTH. Please visit my website to order your copy: www.unassistedhomebirth.com/ChildbirthSuccessKit.html.