How to Stop Talking Too Much

If you come away from a social event and realize that you dominated every conversation or frequently notice that other people seem disinterested or bored in what you are saying, you may be suffering from a condition known as "motor mouth." You can cure it by learning how to stop talking so much.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. List ten questions that you can use to prompt others to speak. This will prevent you from thinking that you need to talk endlessly to fill any awkward silences.
2. Reply with short answers to short questions like “How are you?” and “How was your weekend?” Understand that this kind of question is generally meant to acknowledge your presence, not to trigger a recitation of every little event in your life.
3. Trust the other person in the conversation to ask follow-up questions if they want more details. You risk being a bore if try to show off everything you know without letting others contribute. This is especially true if the topic is not one that most people know about. You can even ask, “Are you interested in hearing more about this?” When she says, “Not really right now,” respect the answer and stop pursuing the conversation.
4. Keep track of how long the other person spoke before you started to talk. Try to stop talking in less time than he took. If you have a problem with talking too much, force yourself to stop talking after every 25 words or less. Then wait for at least a full minute before speaking again. Or make yourself listen three times more than you speak.
5. Look at the other person while you are talking. You can tell whether or not she is interested in what you are saying by noticing if she makes eye contact with you or looks elsewhere. If she is saying “Uh-huh” repeatedly, she is probably bored but too polite to walk away. Stop talking immediately and ask one of your ten questions to draw her into the conversation.
6. Try to make small talk about the weather or sports or the movies with at least half of the people at any single event. This will keep you from dominating a conversation with any one person.