How to do a Wedding in Rome (and Possibly Spend Less Than for One Back Home)

Destination weddings are great for four reasons: (1) they make your wedding for you and your guests a unique, exciting, and memorable experience, (2) since you would be inviting less people to it than a wedding at home, costs usually end up being lower in the end, and (3) the fact that you choose to only invite your closest friends and family for such a far-from-home experience is not only understandable for your more distant relations, but also saves you from having to invite that crazy aunt or obnoxious cousin (or the dog-walker, hairdresser, mailman, etc…).

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• a passport
• your birth certificate
• a cornucopia of boring paperwork
• easy-to-pack wedding garb
• a wedding planner
• two witnesses
• a handful of guests

1. Hire a Planner.
   
   Don’t think that you can plan a destination wedding on your own. You just can’t. You NEED a wedding planner. The amount of preparation, legal obstacles and bureaucratic loopholes that you have to face is better left to be dealt with by a professional. Because wouldn’t it be just great to get to Rome and not be able to get married because your middle initial appears on your passport but not on your birth certificate (or some other ridiculously minute, yet apparently important, detail)? Planners have been through the motions time and time again and will make sure that you do what you need to do. Research, research, research before you choose one; reputation counts for a lot. And keep in mind that, though the fee is steep, it often (if you choose the right one) includes the photography, videography, bouquet, corsage, hair, etc. So you could end up paying less than you would back home where you would probably choose all those services individually.
2. Do All That Paperwork
   
   Translations, Atto Notorios, Apostilles, the list goes on… No need to bore you with the legal technicalities or details on the mundane paperwork, because, well, you pay the planner to do that, and she or he would be much better at explaining it anyways.
   
   I will however tell you that you need two witnesses, unrelated to you, for some of the paperwork back home and also for the ceremony. This is a special role and in many countries witnesses are considered equivalents to a best man or maid of honor – they are not just signatures on a piece of paper. So make sure to ask your closest friends to do this honor for you. If you are eloping and it’s just you two, then planners can provide witnesses for you if need be. You won’t know them, but you can always take them out for a beer after to make up for that.
3. Choose a Location for the Ceremony
   
   Unlike in the US, in Rome, you cannot get legally married on private property – like at a restaurant, in a garden, or at hotel. You either choose a religious ceremony or a civil one.
   
   I can tell you that Rome has some of the most beautiful churches you will ever see, but be aware that the religious institutions all have varying requirements for the couple getting married – the details are best discussed with your planner and the church itself.
   
   Also keep in mind that civil ceremonies are not held at dull grey city halls. Rome has legally designated “wedding halls” that are absolutely gorgeous. Draperies, frescoes, beautiful architecture, and designs by Michelangelo are just some of the details that adorn these breathtaking locations.
4. Choose a Restaurant.
   
   The great thing about deciding to invite fewer people is that you are not forced to use an event hall. You can go to a really nice restaurant (in a hotel or otherwise) and not worry about rental fees or mediocre-yet-expensive food going cold while subpar catering companies sort out who wants fish and who wants chicken. You have much more personal time with your servers, have much more say in your preference for your courses, and can much more easily, if desired, make special requests for certain guests (who are allergic, vegetarian, vegan, celiac, etc.). In addition the small number of guests allows your budget to pick high-end locations with wonderful service. And believe it or not, you can get each guest a five, six, seven–course gourmet meal for the same amount or less than a generic function hall meal in the US. Oh, yeah – and you get ROME too.
5. Plan All the In-Betweens
   
   Plan extra fun stuff according to your taste and style. This is a big adventure for you AND your guests. How often will you be together with all the people closest to you in a beautiful foreign country? Make sure to do things together, but also allow time for them to do their own site-seeing. They will be using this journey as a vacation, not just as a trip to your wedding. Take a group tour, do a brunch, plan shopping trips. And be creative with your guests’ goodies. You can (and should) offer more substantial gifts for them than the proverbial Jordan almonds that sit on their plates to take home with them. They flew very far for you, and it’s great to show your appreciation by acknowledging their needs during travel. Put together kits of pretty travel-sized toiletries, designer passport holders, cute luggage tags, language CDs, international phone cards, and various location-themed paraphernalia. Pass or ship them out before the trip; it gets everyone excited and is also very practical.
6. Have an Unbelievable Time!
   
   Your wedding will be unique and intimate and completely unforgettable.
   
   To help make it unforgettable, be sure to take lots of photos and save as many trinkets as you can – like your wedding menu, a rock from outside the wedding hall or church, the ribbon from your bouquet or boutonniere, or even the taxi stub from your ride to your wedding location. They may not seem like big things in comparison to everything else that will be going on around you, but when you take them out years later for yourself to look at, or to show your children, you will be very happy you have them.

Tips & Warnings

• Try to plan your wedding in Rome during the Springtime. Summer in Italy can be very hot, and in August many businesses are closed.
• The above set of steps is a guideline. Please make sure to get a current list of required documents and consult your situation with the appropriate authorities (i.e., the Italian Consulate) so that you have all the information you need.