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Step 1
Ask a few trusted friends or relatives if you are guilty of making promises that you don’t keep. If you are, apologize and ask them to help help so that avoid breaking your word in the future.
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Step 2
Determine why you break promises. Perhaps you don’t want to tell anyone “no” because you don’t want to disappoint them. It may be that you intend to keep the promises that you make, but you forget them. It may be that you don’t realize that you are making promises, but the words you use make other people think that you are.
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Step 3
List ways to tell people “no” in terms that won’t offend them. You can say, "I would like to but I can't" and then state the reason. Or use language that validates the other person’s request without refusing it outright, such as "Perhap I can, I'll let you know." This will give you time to compose a gentle refusal, which you can deliver by email or phone.
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Step 4
Write down the promises on a calendar or a “to do” list. Then develop the habit of checking the list every day and crossing off the things you have done. You also can ask the person to remind you within a certain period if you have not done what you said.
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Step 5
Preface what you say with, “I’m not promising to do this…” so that even if the words you use sound like you are making a promise, you are making a clear statement about your real intent. This will help everyone to know what you really mean.
