How to Be Like Posh Spice

As one fifth of the Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, has what many women would call a charmed life-married to the delicous David Beckham, a friend to Mr. and Mrs. Cruise and a magazine cover girl. While it might take a lot of moeny to dress and look exacty like herr her re little things you can do to follwo in her footspetetps if you really really want tobe like Posh.

Things You'll Need

• perpetually sour face
• bleach blonde hair
• breasts that are unusally big for your emaciated body

Instructions

1. 

   It's your birthday! It's your wedding day! You've won the lottery! Yes, they're all happy occasions but if you really wanna be like Posh, you MUST NOT SMILE. Ever!

2. 

   When out in public, always wear dark sunglasses that are at least 2 sizes too big for your face.

3. 

   On the rare occasions that you must take off your sunglasses, make sure your eyes are locked in a cold, dark stare.

4. 

   Be it church, the grocery, or the PTA, always show up wearing the most absurd, outlandish clothes possible.

5. 

   When not dressed in one of your bizarre outfits, wear clothes that show off your itsy bitsy figure and also displays your amply endowed "yes they're mine because my husband paid for them" cleavage.

6. 

   Always carry yourself with an air of superiority that lets the world know, "yes, I'm better than you" and to prove your point always wear your ridiculously large engagement ring and other assorted diamonds.