How to Compromise Holidays with Your Significant Other

Holidays are stressful. Finances, time and the pressure to be everywhere at once can be overwhelming. Adding another element of stress is adding a significant other to the mix. Battling whose family you will see when can be a trying time for a relationship. Here are some suggestions for how to compromise holidays with your significant other.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Talk to your spouse or significant other. Some holidays are more important than others to people. Although Christmas is one of the most popular holidays you may be surprised to learn Thanksgiving or the Fourth of July is where most of their family traditions lie. Before starting a battle or jumping to conclusions, you may be able to set aside specific days for their family that don’t even interfere with your own special holidays with your own family.

2. Analyze schedules. If you both have to be at your family gatherings on the same day, look at each schedule. If your family eats at 1:00 p.m. and does presents at 3:00 p.m., and his family eats at 5:00 p.m. and does presents at 7:00 p.m., you may be able to hit both parties. Eat at one and share dessert at the other, making a quick exit from the first and missing the first part of dinner at the second.

3. Ask your families to adjust time schedules. If you are an only child, ask your parents if they would be willing to celebrate the day after Christmas. Explain that you want to be able to spend extra time with them and you’d feel less rushed. If you have a large family, ask if it would be possible to move the party up an hour or two if it doesn’t conflict with anyone else’s schedule.

4. Understand that times change. You must be willing to compromise with your spouse. If your families can’t reschedule a holiday party, opt to do the every other year route. If you opt for this, each family will see you every other year. You can rotate the holidays so one gets you at Thanksgiving and the other at Christmas, and vice versa the next year.

5. Embrace new tradition. Rather than feel resentment towards your loved one, embrace the change and instead decide to build new memories. Set aside time to do things with your family a day or two in advance. If you can’t be there to celebrate Christmas volunteer to help your mom decorate the Christmas tree or decorate cookies.

6. Present a unified front. This is possibly the most important point. Whatever you and your spouse decide to do must be a unified decision. By blaming the other, you will only make each other’s family resentful. Any disagreement you have regarding the holiday, keep to yourselves. You will be doing yourselves a favor in the long run.

Tips & Warnings

• Present a unified decision about how you will spend the holidays.
• Never blame your significant other for not being at a family function.

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