Things You'll Need:
- Chai Tea
- Knowledge of Kegel exercise
- Some familiarity with Tai Chi
- Your husband's expensive SUV
-
Step 1
Do pelvic strengthening (Kegel) exercises, even in traffic to help distract your attention away from the moron who is giving you the finger in the car next to you. Just because you cut him off doesn’t mean you can’t be friends. Wave nicely and smile.
-
Step 2
Try deep breathing meditation when the goon you backed into at at the coffee shop forces you off the road. Just pick your spot in traffic again and then stop off at the gourmet food store on your way home for some chai tea. Remember to expand your diaphragm and keep safety as your number one priority. Put your right blinker on as you meander back into traffic.
-
Step 3
Say “Ohhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmm” like you really mean it, when the noise of the horns blare behind you at the green light. You must learn to block out all exterior noise before you can find peace within.
-
Step 4
Emit several loud crying jags when your husband notices the new dents on the back fender of his Land Rover. You have heard that tears can be very healing to the body and soul. Encourage him to do the same, as he tears out the last shred of growth on his balding head. Tell him that that is not the kind of tearing you had in mind.
-
Step 5
Ignore his scowl as you drink deeply of your new Chai Tea, laced with just a tad of two of Jack Daniels. Perform your Tai Chi bird walk followed by the tiger and finish up with the bear. Now that you are relaxed, nap your way into sugar plum fairyland and have a wonderful and restful night.
Comments
MidniteWriter said
on 12/27/2007 I loved this article, it was both fun and helpful and a great reminder of how, when and where to do kegels :)