How to Help a Friend Cope With Death

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When you care for someone, the hardest thing is to see them in pain over the loss of someone they love. Some people are unsure of what to say or do, so they avoid the issue by avoiding their friend. This is not the answer, and it may cause damage to your friendship. Be aware that there is no right thing to say and no right thing to do. There is only the necessity to be there.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Step1

It is very important that you be available when your friend needs you. This may mean putting your life on hold for an hour when she calls to vent, but this will be an hour well spent.

Step2

Only give advice if you’re certain. If you are unsure, then say so. It would be horrible if you gave bad advice when your friend is dealing with death.

Step3

Listen, listen, listen. Your friend will need someone to listen more than she’ll need anything. If she is calling you it is because it’s you she needs. So be quiet and let her talk.

Step4

If it is at all possible, be available and within reach at all times. Be sure your friend has your work and cell number.

Step5

Give what is needed at the time, with respect to tomorrow. He may need to hear you say he will get better, but be very careful with your words because this may not be the case. He might want you to tell him life will get better soon, but soon may not come for a long time.

Step6

Encourage her, but do so realistically. If she is dying of cancer it is not a good idea to tell her that she is going to be all right. Be careful of your wording. Tell her you will get through this together, and she will feel better knowing she will not be alone.

Step7

Be on call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. She may need you in the middle of the night or at 5 o’clock in the morning. Just remember the day will most likely come when you will need her as well. After all, what are friends for?

Tips & Warnings

This isn’t the time for the weak hearted. Be strong. That’s what friends do for one another.
Don’t offer services you can’t give. This could possibly cause hard feelings.