How to Defeat Superman

Let's say you are about to go head-to-head with Superman, The Man of Steel. The odds are not in your favor and the outcome certainly looks bleak. However, there are a few things you can do to actually defeat him.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Acting ability
• Access to Kryptonite - this REALLY helps
• Brandon Routh - it's a guaranteed win this way

1. You can't match the power of a punch from Superman, so make it harder for him to connect. Get all "buddy-buddy" with him and take him out for a few drinks. Past experience says that a fight gets pretty sloppy after a few rounds of shots.

2. You could probably pick a fight with the Brandon Routh Superman. Did you see "Superman Returns?" My grandma could win a fistfight with that guy.

3. Here's the most important tip of all: get some Kryptonite. The most notable type is Green Kryptonite, causing immense pain and death within only a few hours. This greatly reduces a Kryptonian's powers with increased exposure.

4. Red Kryptonite creates a myriad of different effects while Gold Kryptonite removes a Kryptonian's powers permanently. Other colors exist, all with varying rarity, and have a large range of effects on Kryptonians.

Tips & Warnings

• Batman has some Kryptonite in his possession, just in case Superman ever truly loses his mind. Good luck getting to that level of trust with The Man of Steel.
• If you're really going to fight Superman, try building some monstrous robot to help like all the other villains do. Not that it ever helps, but it's worth a shot.
• Be careful not to get caught while acting like a good guy - Superman would certainly not take too kindly to such a move.
• I would highly avoid an actual dead-on punch from the guy. I hear it can turn your face into a washboard.

Resources

• The home of DC Comics