How to Decide Between Best Friend Versus Parent
There are parents who have a problem distinguishing the difference between parenting and being a best friend. This lack of understanding can create setbacks in a relationship between parent and child. Children need parents to be parents. If you stick to being a parent the day will come when your relationship will evolve into friendship. If you are unsure whether you fit the parent or the friend mode, follow the easy steps to stay where your child needs you to be.
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Instructions
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Be a parent at all times. Truth, wisdom, knowledge, caring, teaching, loving; the ingredients that should never be absent are the building blocks on which your relationship will grow. Veer from these components and you will only confuse her.
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Listen as a friend, but use parental practices for input. If he is worried about his buddies wanting him to drink and drive try to refrain from responding as a friend. A parent would never counter, Oh it will be all right as long as you're careful.
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Respond as a parent only. Don't be wishy washy and say he shouldn't drink and drive but if he does it's understandable. It is never understandable to encourage him to drink and drive.
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Be friendly with her friends but in an adult manner and by issuing guidance only when requested. Don't try to be young and hip so her friends will like you. If you aren't invited to hang out during the slumber party don't be offended. Be happy she has friends and in knowing they will be there for her when you can't be.
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Laugh together. It's good to joke around and create memories that will last a lifetime. These are the memories she will hang onto when you pass on. This will also guide her in being the same with her children.
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Spend time together but don't be stingy. Expect him to have days in which he prefers to be with his friends, but if you have a good relationship there will be times he will choose to be with you rather than his friends.
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Always maintain the role as parent while she is growing up. The day will come when she will be an adult and you will be both mother and best friend.
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Tips & Warnings
Trying to be your child's friend will only confuse and irritate her when she needs a parent. During the primary and secondary years the need for a parent far outweighs the need for a friend.
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Comments
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So when mothers are bossy, say 'no' it's because we love u as our child/adult not as a good buddy/friend...Children/teens end up disappointed in you because you NEVER made any decisions... u just turned up at the game looking like a teenager and had drinkies with their mates...
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Winona Rasheed
Jan 08, 2008
Great advice, Miss Tena. You can't go wrong with these words of wisdom. This information should go in a newsletter over the web. I am sure you will have plenty readers with writings like this. Mzcoffeecake -
Tena Green
Jan 07, 2008
Thank you for your comments Petula. Being a mother of four myself I understand exactly where you are and it sounds like you're doing a great job.
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Petula
Jan 03, 2008
Great article! There is a very fine balance with this. I am the mom of four: 16, 4, almost 2 and 7 months and I'm enjoying the teenage years the best. My teenager and I have a wonderful friendship, but I have a very strong parental presence. I hope others will take your advice and follow your steps. It may seem difficult, but it'll be work it in the end!
