How to Make Lasting Friendships

We take time to plan and format most aspect of our lives but the areas of friendships tend to be left to chance at times. In the end we neglect people who are sincere friends as they are shoveled aside with daily routines and when we awaken to our lack of friendships in our lives, we rustle for whoever is available and build friendships out of despair. In some cases failure to evaluate friendships may result in much grief and pain in end. Friendship is reciprocal though therefore there should be some form of mutual enhancement of each other's wellbeing and good will.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Instructions

1. Study your self and you value system so that you may acquaint your self with your inclinations before you start overloading your life with other people's lives. This will give you a measured approach to friendships.

2. Take time to love and respect yourself and nurture yourself in a non-indulging and not in a selfish manner; but in acknowledge yourself and develop a love and respect for oneself.
   Treating your self with integrity will help you choose friends who are honest because untrustworthy friends can bring you undue trouble.

3. Take practical steps of investing in yourself without doing this it in access by studying whom you are as an individual, listing your goals and ambitions and setting out practical plans and schedules to fulfill your goals. Many people don't take time to develop and invest in themselves and end up demanding too much from a friendship or engaging in trivial competition and strife which will in turn, destroy friendships.

4. Choosing a friendship is like an emotional investment; therefore if you are making an investment, you need to take time to study the person as you relate in order to determine the type and nature of friendship that will work with each individual.

5. Everyone is unique therefore friendships will vary in nature but it is key to have a sound foundation of whom you are so that you don't lose your sense of self and your values system as you interact with various people. Review STEP 3 often to make sure you are still in touch with yourself. Some dysfunctional friendships or bitter ending to friendship arise, from an individual losing their individuality to someone else and the day that person walks away, they fall apart. This may result in some people seeking to hurt the friend who might be walking away.

6. Maintain a healthy balance as you relate, so that you do not overly give such that you end up complaining that the friend is just a taker. Do not be addicted to receiving to that extend that the other person you are relating to perceives you as an emotional drain and end that friendship prematurely even if they enjoyed your friendship. Smothering friends with gifts, attention, excessive phone calls, endless suggestions or excessive criticisms etc. may also have that emotional drain effect.

7. Develop ability to accept compliments without bragging and the discipline to apologize and explain yourself whenever necessary without evading the part of taking responsibly and without blaming someone else.

8. Allow each friendship to grow at its own pace. Develop the areas of shared interest and be truthful to yourself and your friend because lies bring distrust and destroys friendships quickly. Understand that you do not have to have a one friend fits all. You can have different friends for different activities, and therefore allow each friendship blossom at its given pace.

9. Develop the discipline to confront a friend appropriately when necessary and the discipline to forgive without licking wounds endlessly. If a friend deliberately causes you physical harm or tries to harm you; then they are no longer a friend since friendship is mutual enhancement of each other's wellbeing and good will.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't rush friendships. Like a strong tree, let each friendship blossom at its own pace so that it may be able to stand the sunny days as well as the rainy days.
• Telling a friend too much at a time can be overbearing
• Choose you friends wisely, but most of all, be a friend to one's self.
• Treat your self with honor and integrity and appreciate yourself and your daily living.
• Just know that each season can bring in new friendships but that does not mean destroy the seasoned friendships.