How to Be a Country Music Star

While some of America's greatest recording artists have been from the country music scene, the last thirty years have been devoid of any hint of talent from the genre. It is the easiest path to recording star status and you can start your music career immediately with these handy tips.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A small amount of musical talent

1. Get some country and western outfits and boots from a thrift shop. They need to look a little used.

2. Set up a fake biography for yourself. Give your birthplace as Oklahoma, somewhere on the plains. Ain't no written records of it. Describe your upbringing as bleak but hopeful. Talk about how one parent was no good and the other had a heart of gold.

3. Make sure you had problems to overcome. Tornados, drinking, low-life men or women, day jobs, liberals, etc.

4. Get an agent. Take suggestions on your image.

5. This is the easy part. Write a song. Keep it simple. No more than four chords. Lyrics should include honky tonkin', Mama, Daddy, the love of your truck and dog, prison, whiskey, the flag, America, boots, two-steppin', the rodeo, Iraq and good ole ass-kickin'.

6. When doing radio or TV promos, just give 'em the "aw shucks" simpleton routine and let out a holler.