How to Prepare for Loaning Your Car to a Teen

Remember the good ol’ days when you worried that your precious toddler would run into the street and get hit by a car? She was small enough so that you could hold her hand as you warned her to look both ways. She learned to cross the street, but you still worried that she wouldn’t pay attention. Remember when your 9-year-old began riding his bike and doing wheelies? You insisted he wear a helmet, which he did, most of the time, yet sometimes he’d forget. Remember how relieved you felt each time he came home safe? Perhaps it’s surviving those times that prepares you for the terror ahead, as you let your teen take the wheel of your car for the first time.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• A signed driving contract
• Patience of a saint

1. Emphasize the wonderful privilege that it is to drive your car. After all, turning 16 doesn’t automatically guarantee the right to get behind the wheel. You’re loaning the keys because you believe he or she is capable of handling the responsibility that the new freedom brings. Say directly, “I’m counting on you to follow the rules,” then sternly add, “don’t disappoint me.”
2. Remind your teen that borrowing your car (even if it is a second hand beater) is an honor. It’s an honor bestowed upon him or her by you, when you’re in a good mood. Tell the teen that if something or someone makes you cranky, you're likely to revoke the car privilege.
3. Carefully review the details of the signed driving contract. You do have one, right? If you don’t, obtain one immediately by visiting: teendriving.com for examples (See Resources below). It’s advisable to have the contract in place at least 1 month in advance of the big day. Hang that contract on the refrigerator door so that every time the teen rummages for food, he or she will be reminded of the agreements.
4. Remain good-natured when discussing hot topics such as the car. Studies report that teens listen more closely when they are being entertained. One week prior to a big driving event, talk about your expectations and the time you expect him or her to return the car. Timing your talk close to the event works well because your teen is so eager to drive that he or she will not want to anger you by talking back. Acknowledge their cooperation as an indicator of their maturity.
5. Repeat, Repeat, Repeat. Go over the safety measures and driving rules numerous times. Neuroscience will back you up on this one. The teenage brain is a work in progress. Studies show that teens are guided by “gut” reactions over reasoning and planning. If they give you a hard time on this one, refer them to: Frontline on pbs.org (see Resources below).
6. Designate the inaugural driving date in advance. Require that the teen gets plenty of sleep the night before. The National Sleep Foundation points out that the most troubling consequences of sleepiness are injuries and deaths related to lapses in attention and delayed response times while driving. Drowsiness or fatigue has been identified as a principle cause in at least 100,000 police-reported traffic crashes each year. If your teen is tired, they can’t drive.
7. Stand in the driveway and watch as the teen backs out. Wave good-bye and take a picture. Tell your teen that you will post the picture all over town if he or she doesn’t come home on time. Assure the teen that you have spies who are watching. The spies will report careless maneuvers back to you.
8. Be creative and firm when they mess up. If and when the teen breaks a driving rule, take the keys away and assign a written report entitled, “How I messed up and what I intend to do to correct the problem.” Set aside a time for the teen to present the report to you, and ask plenty of questions.