How to Heckle Minor League Baseball Players

While heckling is not a pastime for upstanding folks, it is a part of sports that continues to thrive. Heckling major league baseball players is difficult. Not only do they have more money than you, but also they are usually at such a distance to the fan as to make any shout inaudible from the field. Finally, major league players have already heard all the nasty stuff in the minors. Heckling can be a useful tool to pull out in clutch situations, and has been known to have an effect on the performance of players, especially the green ones in the minor leagues. Remember to never heckle the home team.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Learn as much about them as possible. Find out where they may have been drafted, if they’ve inked any signing bonuses or what their actual prospects of making it to "The Bigs" may be. You don’t want to hassle a guy who’s put his whole life into the sport and may finally get a taste. The ideal candidate is a young player practically guaranteed a free pass to a major league team and is having a bit of difficulty at the moment.

2. Find a good location. Preferably, pick one spot near the batting area, and another by their defensive position. If your target plays left field, you’ll want a spot right along the wall. Since you’ll be heckling the visitors, grab a spot by their on-deck circle. Your comments will be some of the last lingering in his head as the batter steps to the plate.

3. Start off basic. Insult their position. While they’re on defense, tell your target about the weaknesses inherent to their position. “You’ve got a bad arm, that’s why you’re in left!” is a good example.

4. Move onto mocking the city they play in. If the visitor is from a particularly crime-ridden metro area, bring that up. Insult the economic status of the city or make fun of their symbols. For example, what does Iowa City have to offer that’s worthwhile? Share your thoughts with the minor league player forced to live in such a city.

5. Finally, start in on their ambitions. All minor leaguers are on a journey to the Big Leagues, but very few get there. Remind the player of the odds he’s facing, and perhaps enlighten him to the fact that “They don’t make plays like that in The Bigs!” If you know what organization he’s destined for, that can make the insults more specific, especially if you can name the star player whose position the minor leaguer hopes to have.

6. Follow them to the plate and remind them of past mistakes. Did the target of your heckle end up striking out two innings ago? It may be helpful to remind them of that next at bat. Rattle their focus by bringing up a defensive error or a base running mistake that may have cost their team. Act as though you’d be impressed to not see the same thing happen again.

Tips & Warnings

• If the team of your target is winning handily, think about curtailing the heckling.
• If the opposing player ends up performing better in the face of your heckling perhaps back off. Such opposition has been known to motivate some players.
• Players can sometimes have fans ejected for rough heckling. Stay away from derogatory or racially insensitive insults. Keep your heckling to baseball play only.

[slyrussian]

on 4/21/2009 This is a great post. Here is my addition for MLB Baseball games. http://www.slyrussian.com/how-to-heckle-taunt-baseball-games.htm