How to Deal With a Coworker That Harassess Others but is Friends With the Boss

Learn the proper way to handle a harassing co-worker that seems to be friendly with the boss.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Keep a log of specific incidences. Spend a few weeks writing down what occurs and when. Express how the harassment made you feel and be sure to sign and date it. The best way to do this is to keep a notebook specifically used for the purpose of documenting this particular situation only.

2. Address the co-worker directly. If they are doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, they may not be aware of it. Speaking to them directly allows the co-worker to have a chance to rectify what he or she has done. Start off by being friendly with the co-worker then make the statement that it makes you uncomfortable. Never argue or attack your co-worker in an unprofessional manner. After the conversation be sure to write down what occurred and date it. Add it into your notebook if you have already started one.

3. If the harassment continues, discuss it with your boss. The fact that the co-worker is friends with the boss has no relevancy on the legal standpoint here. You can even use the friendship to your advantage by explaining to the boss that you know they are friends so would he mind speaking to him or her for you? The first attempt should be casual to get a feel for the level of seriousness your boss has. If nothing happens after a week, request a formal meeting via email if possible and save the message. If you are being harassed and the light hearted request is not addressed by your boss, express your intent to further the situation. Be sure to bring your notebook outlining the specific occurrences this time. This is very important and will help your situation greatly. Don't forget to log the meeting in your notebook afterwards.

4. Contact Human Resources. If your boss does not address the situation and you have documented everything, contact Human Resources. Explain to them each step you have taken and don't be hostile. Always begin a negative with a positive. For example, "I really enjoy working here but I am beginning to feel uncomfortable." or "John is a really great boss but is just not taking the situation seriously."

Tips & Warnings

• Don't make any assumptions about your boss' relationship with the harassing co-worker, simply state the facts.
• Always write everything down along with how it made you feel.
• Always state a positive before making a negative statement.
• Remain friendly with everyone involved even if it's fake and difficult to do.
• Your relationship may not be the same after addressing the harassment but if it makes you uncomfortable or is illegal you are obligated to express yourself.
• Never threaten to take legal action against the company you work for or you will isolate yourself entirely.

[kaseysviewblog]

on 7/15/2008 Very interesting, Thank you.

[Lancec]

on 5/14/2008 Yeah its even worse when the boss is dating the coworker that is harassing everyone. Nothing ever got done, and the coworker got away with quite a bit!

[favefive]

on 2/4/2008 Great advice...documenting of incidences is really helpful in making a case.

[bmi57]

on 1/3/2008 My daughter went through this same thing, nothing was getting done, and everything got worse, my daughter loved her job, but has quit because of this. Great advise, thank you and I will pass your advise on to my daughter.