How to Get A Woman to Stop Talking

Does your wife or girlfriend blather on and on until you just want to scream? Women talk to experience connection. If she doesn't get that experience in the first 10 to 15 minutes of conversation (or the first 90 minutes), that doesn't mean she's just going to give up. The sooner she gets what she wants, the sooner she can leave you alone or move on to something that interests you.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Listen actively to what she says. Nod, ask questions and make supportive comments after every few sentences (like "Wow, that must have been hard," or, "Yeah, I see what you mean"). Remember: this woman is supposed to be an important part of your life; if you can't at least feign interest in her sharing her world with you, you've got a problem.
2. Help her understand how you feel about surplus conversation--but do it in a tactful way. Instead of saying, "You talk too much," try focusing on your own experience: "I feel overwhelmed by the amount of conversation. I can only take it in small chunks."
3. Do more talking yourself. Sometimes women don't love talking as much as they just love conversation, even if they have to create 95% of it. Tell her all about your fantasy baseball team. This will give you a chance to think through some strategy out loud, and if she complains that it's boring, gently remind her how patiently you sat through her lecture on her sister's new hairstyle.
4. Suggest compromises. Perhaps if you agree to show more interest in what she has to say, she'll agree to limit her talking time. If she needs more, perhaps she'd be willing to write a note or a letter or to experiment with other forms of non-verbal communication from time to time.
5. Set aside a little time on a regular basis when you get to be inside your own head. Tell her you're more than happy to discuss life with her, but not between 6 and 7 p.m. on odd-numbered days of the month. She might be more willing to agree to this if you promise to fill that time by doing the dishes.

Tips & Warnings

• As with any relationship conflict, the level of effort and patience you're willing to apply to solving the problem correlates directly with the level of commitment you have to the relationship.
• Try not to think of ways to shut your partner up. Instead, think of it as trying to make your communication more meaningful and effective for both of you.