How to Survive Adult Children Living with Parents

Boomerang children seem to be the norm these days. These are the kids that go off to college or out on their own only to return home in a few years unable to make it in the real world. What’s a parent to do? It’s hard to turn your children away. The best thing a parent can do is making them understand that they are adults now and the rules have changed.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

1. Establish the ground rules before your adult child moves in. Make it very clear that you have your own life and are not going to cater to their whims. They are not children anymore and do not need Mommy and Daddy to do for them.
2. Charge rent, even if it is a nominal amount. If the adult child is without or between jobs, barter labor for room and board. Once they begin to realize there is no free ride at home any longer, the faster they will attempt to get on their own two feet again.
3. Let the adult child fend for himself. This includes cooking, laundry and other chores. It’s OK to include enough for the child when you are cooking dinner for everyone, but don’t cook special foods just because the adult child likes it.
4. Force the issue of getting a job; any job. Parents of adult children should not have to purchase toiletries and other incidentals for adult children.
5. Don’t let resentments build. If you feel your child is out of line, let her know it. Explain that you are the one doing the favor and that appreciation is expected.

Tips & Warnings

• Often boomerang kids act like they are twelve years old again when they move back in. Don’t allow that type of behavior, even in the beginning. Always remember, they are adults.
• The goal of allowing an adult child to move back in is to help him get on his feet again. Once they have sufficient resources, send him back into the world again.