How to Beat a Uniform Inspection

A hallmark of military precision is the individual soldier, sailor, airman or Marine’s ability to present a perfect appearance. In order to achieve that level of proficiency, each service and service academy conducts periodic uniform inspections. Generally, an individual’s performance is rated by an inspector as being noteworthy, satisfactory or unsatisfactory, assessments that can be roughly equated to letter grades of A, C and F, respectively. As opposed to school time experiences, poor performance—-an unsatisfactory assessment—-may result in punishment including extra duties or in some extreme cases, restriction or fine.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Substantial preparation time
• Military directives that address the proper wear of the uniform in which you’ll be inspected
• A steam iron
• Fresh haircut (males)
• Working knowledge of military chain of command and current politico-military events affecting the US
• Small, flexible ruler

1. Try on the uniform you’ll be wearing as soon as you learn that an inspection has been scheduled. Review the appropriate service directive that discusses fit of that uniform and ensure that you’re well within tolerance. Keep in mind that the most common discrepancy during a uniform inspection is an ill-fitting uniform as a result of weight gain. If you’re concerned about the fit of your uniform, go to the uniform shop on your installation and request tailoring assistance.
2. Have the uniform dry cleaned when you’re satisfied with the fit. Pick up your uniform as soon as it’s ready and make certain it’s yours. Laundry facilities have been known to mix up and even lose uniforms from time to time. In your room or at home, try on that freshly laundered uniform to assure yourself that it still fits properly.
3. Know that you may be required to mount ribbons, medals, qualification badges and nametags depending on the uniform being inspected. Refer to the appropriate uniform order to refresh your memory on how those accoutrements should be worn. Use a ruler to ensure exact placement of all devices in relation to pocket seams and to other decorations. Employ your steam iron in the event you detect any wrinkles.
4. Be aware that your shoes are a critical part of the inspection. Most services and academies now permit poromeric (Corfam) shoes which are perpetually shiny; however, you must ensure those shoes are not scuffed. If they are, replace them before the inspection and keep that pair in reserve for future inspections. Also, be sure to use edge dressing along the soles of your shoes to perfect their appearance.
5. ensure your hair has been recently cut and that it is well within service regulations for length. Check your sideburns to make certain they aren’t too long. Males should shave shortly before the inspection. Males and females alike should ensure their teeth are brushed so as to prevent bad breath which will decrease your chance of achieving a “perfect” report. Once you’ve dressed in your inspection uniform, avoid sitting down. Doing so will wrinkle your trousers or skirt.
6. Keep your eyes focused through that individual when the inspector steps in front of you and begins the inspection. Resist the urge to look around or check her progress. Refrain from speaking with the inspector unless he engages you. Use the word “sir” or “ma’am” more than necessary. If you don’t know the answer to a particular question, don’t make matters worse by guessing. The response, “Sir, I don’t know but I will find out,” can go a long way to keeping your slate clean. When the inspector is finished and congratulates your efforts, a simple “Sir,” or “Ma’am” will suffice for your response.

Tips & Warnings

• Tailoring a uniform takes time—usually two to three weeks. Make sure you get that tailoring done soon after you discover the date of the upcoming inspection.
• Ensure you display your decorations in the correct precedence.
• Make sure your uniform is marked with your name as required by appropriate service uniform regulations.
• If weapons—-including swords or sabers—-are to be inspected as well, ensure you attend to that equipment with the same efficiency as your own uniform.
• Don’t wear devices or awards to which you are not entitled.