How to Deal With Rejection

It happens to all of us: a proposal is rejected, a demo tape is returned unplayed, slides are sent back with a form letter, or a pitch meets a stony reception. You're devastated, of course, and may contemplate hanging up your apron and calling it quits. Whether it's your first or fiftieth rejection doesn't seem to make it any easier. But there are ways of coping with rejection that can speed you through some of the bumpier parts.

Just like the stages of grief; these steps are not always done in order and you might need to go back to one or more before you're really through. That's okay; just like art, it's the journey that counts more than the destination.

Difficulty:

Moderately Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need

• Privacy
• Spare breakables
• Comfort food
• Juicy novel
• Mindless television or movies
• Art supplies
• Rejection letters or notes
• Optimism

1. Throw a fit.

   Seriously, sometimes nothing will do except to whine and wail at the cruel hand fate or some gallery owner has dealt you. I call these my Artistic Temperament Tantrums, and while not especially professional, it helps get the majority of the angst out of the way early. Whatever you do, though, make sure to have your tantrum in private, only destroy what you can afford to replace, and stop before you do anything irreversible. Usually I find that giving myself permission to lose it in private takes away the worst of the impulse and very little tantrum is actually required. Fact is, emotional release is good for the soul. Give it a whirl.

2. Wallow in your blue mood.

   Indulge with some comfort food, a fluffy novel or some particularly mindless television. Just like when you you received a physical hurt as a child and received special treatment and privileges; when our creative ego gets bruised; we deserve a small indulgence.

3. Channel your pain into production.

   Angst can be an incredibly motivating well from which new work can spring. Just like the phoenix rising out of the ashes, so too, can art come from tragedy. The upside is that with another completed project under your belt; you have another item to submit, and this one might actually be accepted.

4. Look for the constructive in the criticism.

   Unless the rejection was delivered via form letter, there was probably a bit of advice thrown in with the thumbs down. Once the initial sting has subsided; it's time to start learning from the most recent let down. If the agent, editor or director offered a suggestion; really look at it and decide how useful it will be to you. Something like, "your work doesn't fit our magazine/show/programming" means you need to target your submissions more carefully. A comment on the quality or direction of the work can be useful in targeting future submissions to that contact. Everything can become a learning experience.

5. Embrace the rejection.

   Look at it this way: applying the Law of Large Numbers essentially tells us that the more we submit, the more likely we are to be accepted. Each rejection, therefore, brings us one submission closer to a yes instead of a no. Focusing on this will help you get past the current disappointment and keep you optimistic.