Things You'll Need:
- A job
- Common decency
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Step 1
Just because the atmosphere seems casual doesn't mean you can ask your boss to fetch you a drink by patting her on the butt.
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Step 2
Don't open any door with a sock tied around the knob.
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Step 3
If your Secret Santa gives you a present that falls obviously below the minimum value guidelines, don't react by shouting, "What, are you on welfare or something?!?"
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Step 4
Be sure to check your blood alcohol content before professing your undying love to someone.
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Step 5
Don't compliment your boss's wife by saying she doesn't look like the raging psycho he makes her out to be.
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Step 6
Your joke about the traveling salesman, the farmer's daughter and the blind ferret won't fly here.
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Step 7
Don't wear a mistletoe belt buckle.
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Step 8
Even if well-intentioned, refrain from calling your female boss a "nutcracker."
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Step 9
Make sure you know exactly who it is you're buying a Secret Santa present for. If you end up giving it to the wrong person, and the person happens to be a minority, don't apologize by saying, "All you people look alike to me."
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Step 10
This is neither the time nor place to return the velour thong your boss left at your apartment.
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Step 11
Wait until all of your immediate supervisors leave before filling the bathroom soap dispenser with pee.
Comments
ChristyBuena said
on 11/14/2008 Thanks for the great laugh BruceLeroy. lol
jasminemars said
on 11/7/2008 So funny. I love this! Brings back memories of when I waitressed at Howard Johnson's in college. The Christmas party was a complete horror show that ended with the cook peeing all over the kitchen floor in full view of everyone.
Sophoula said
on 10/22/2008 #4 was hilarious. i've actually done something like that once. wasn't as good an idea as it seemed at the time...
shop4uniquegift said
on 10/16/2008 OMG! ROTFLMBO! :) Thanks for making my day! :)
slphilbrick said
on 8/27/2008 This is too funny, but it does scare me just a little.... have to wonder if any of it comes from experience ??? :)