How to Prevent Arguments

Depending upon which self-help book we have just finished reading, our approach to conflict may be entirely different. If it happens to be a book that promotes self actualization, then we are liable to be aggressive and "in-your-face." In truth, conflict may be the last thing we need. There are ways of avoiding arguments without "Rolling over and showing our bellies."

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Realize that your reaction to a situation is determined by your emotions and the reality of the situation.
2. Ask yourself if you are you overreacting because you're tired or stressed.
3. Make sure that your anger is not being displaced from something you are feeling towards someone or something else.
4. Check the same factors for the person with whom you are arguing.
5. Adopt the attitude that when someone disagrees with you, she is actually presenting you with new possibilities. Keep an open mind.
6. Control your temper by being aware that it may make you feel "righteous" but in the long term it typically weakens your position. Listen. Sometimes simply listening will completely diffuse a situation.
7. Use diplomatic language. "I believe" or "I could be wrong, but..." couch whatever you have to say in a fashion much less likely to heat up circumstances.

Tips & Warnings

• A rational approach to arguments is one of life's most difficult tasks. It can only be accomplished through practice and a very heightened state of self-awareness.