How to Adjust to a New Stepmother
Introducing a stepmother into the family can be a difficult and complex issue. Children often develop a close relationship with their biological father and a stepmother can be seen as an intruder. The key is to take the adjustment slowly and keep the lines of communication open.
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Instructions
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Introduce children to their soon-to-be stepmother before you get married. Allow them time to get to know each other.
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Choose two or three household rules to change. This will help the stepmother adjust more than simply leaving everything the same. Too many changes will cause the children to rebel.
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Talk directly to children about their loyalty issues. Kids will be confused and may feel ripped apart between their parents and stepmother. Be proactive and help relieve that stress.
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Give children enough time to adjust to their stepmother on their own. There won't be an instant relationship. Everyone needs to get used to each other.
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Know what the stepmother's role is in the family. She's an authority figure and should be treated as such.
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Compartmentalize your time together. This means that everyone should spend one-on-one time together. Whether it's father/daughter, father/son, stepmother/stepdaughter or stepmother/stepson, it's important that everyone develop relationships with each other.
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Pick activities that individual family members enjoy. Maybe a stepmother takes her stepson to the latest action movie. Or, she takes her new stepdaughter to get her hair done.
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