How to Defuse Co-Workers

If you've been around for any length of time, you probably know a co-worker with a quick temper. When he/she steps onto the scene, everybody ducks under their desks. There's always one in every crowd, a firecracker with a short fuse. As in many workplace situations, you have a choice of option on how to deal with your easily angered peer. "Defusing" a co-worker is a test of your preferred methods of conflict resolution.

Instructions

1. Wait for things to "die down." This is usually the easiest choice and the option that is least traumatic to your sense of "business as usual." Just avoiding a temper tantrum and waiting for the conflict to go away is very popular among those who are "conflict avoidant" for any reason (i.e. timidity, high workload, or fear of escalation).

2. Placate. Many people involved in a workplace dispute try to "talk down" an angry colleague, using pretty words to momentarily or permanently "solve" a crisis. Telling your co-worker what they want to hear might work in some cases, but in others, it's just a band-aid on the problem, especially if your calming words are less than truthful.

3. Stand up for yourself. If attacked by an angry co-worker (verbally) you want to evaluate what the long-range consequences of your actions will be. The conflict-avoidant methods are not always best, and if you feel like your co-worker is unfairly targeting you, it may be in your best interests to meet fire with fire and be firm, clear, and assertive, even aggressive, as need be. Raising your voice, though often taboo, may be necessary to end a flame-out and get your attacker to calm down.

4. Have an intervention. For chronically ignited co-workers, a team or department may need to organize a meeting to discuss how to handle yourself in the workplace environment. You'll need to have a clear pattern of aggressive activity to pursue such a meeting, and you'll have to get the support of the majority (or supervisors) by documenting the "facts on the ground." In extreme cases, an intervention type meeting, or just a solo meeting between the irate worker and a boss, might work well.

5. Get the upper hand. Sometimes, all it takes to stop a co-worker from going on a rampage is to come to a kind of "stalemate" and let them know that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Threatening to report future outbursts, or reminding them of their responsibility to interact well with others, can resolve a situation where somebody feels entitled to "going off" on people in their work place.