How to Get Grandparents to Bond With a Foster Child

Helping foster children feel welcome and accepted into their new family is always a challenge. This is especially true for grandparents, who are expected to bond with each new addition to a family. Although challenging, there are steps grandparents can take to ease themselves into their new role as grandparents to foster kids.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Be very supportive of your child's choice to become a foster parent. This is a difficult and selfless decision, and your children will need your support to make it a success.
2. Help foster children learn good boundaries by not allowing them to jump right into your lap. This is especially true for kids with attachment disorders. At the same time, be careful not to overwhelm your foster grandchild with too many hugs and kisses. You are still a stranger to them, and this could make them very uncomfortable.
3. Teach the rules of your house gently and with love. Foster children have been in a variety of new and strange environments, and each situation is different, with different expectations.
4. Talk openly and honestly to your children about issues you need to be aware of. If the foster child has problems with stealing, certain fears or a history of sexual abuse, being aware can make a big difference in how you deal with certain situations.
5. Participate in your foster grandchild's life as you would your birth grandchildren. Be sure to attend and support school activities, performances and birthdays, and include the foster children in all family events.
6. Be a real grandparent to your foster child by doing the things birth grandparents would do. Bake cookies, take them shopping or on an outing or just spend time with them.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't try and bond with your new foster grandchild by buying too many gifts or offering money too often. Kids will know you love them best by just being there and really taking time to get to know them as individuals.