How to Set Boundaries With a Person Who Has Borderline Personality Disorder

If you have a relationship with a person who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder, then you no doubt will have to deal with the issue of setting boundaries. Boundaries establish basic respect between parties and help to remind sufferers when their behavior is unacceptable.

Instructions

1. Visit a therapy session with your partner. Therapy provides a safe atmosphere where discussions about problems are encouraged. A therapist can also act as a witness to your attempts at setting boundaries.

2. Explain the situation calmly to both the therapist and the Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer. Be objective when speaking about your needs and desires.

3. Describe how the situation has made you feel. Do not cast blame or be overly emotional. Simply detail your reaction to the situation without causing undue stress or creating fodder for an unnecessary reaction.

4. Make simple, clear declarations about your expectations. These expectations are your personal boundaries. Be assertive without being dogmatic. State your limits.

5. Repeat your boundaries until the Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer understands what you are asking of him. Ask the therapist for help if you seem to be fighting a losing battle.

6. Use appropriate body language. Make eye contact, have straight posture and use a clean, even voice tone. If you are able, stand while setting your boundaries. Standing helps give you some perceived authority.

7. Be prepared for unwanted reactions. Stand your ground. Do what you need to do to make sure that your needs are met and your personal boundaries are respected.

Tips & Warnings

• Do not give into rages or dramatic outbursts.