How to Befriend Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

If you know someone who struggles with borderline personality disorder, sometimes referred to as BPD, you know that it is often difficult for these people to enjoy friendships. Because of the volatile fluctuations in their moods and emotions, friendships can be difficult.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Befriend someone who has borderline personality disorder by first learning about his or her condition. People who have this disorder can be quite unpredictable in daily (or hourly) behavior and moods. He can be happy and at peace one minute, and then angry or depressed the next. Mood swings can happen for no apparent reason. Be prepared for these emotional swings if you want to befriend him.
2. Know that it has been estimated that about two percent of the population have borderline personality disorder. This mental health issue often strikes young women more than men. She may have trouble controlling her emotions, even while at work. She may cry at the drop of a hat or explode into sudden temper tantrums. Many of these problems may stem from circumstances she's had to live in. Accept her for who she is and do all you can to bring some stability into her life. Learn to go with the flow of her emotions in order to be a friend. Don't react to her moods. Stay calm.
3. Try your best to smooth over any embarrassing situations concerning the BPD person you are trying to befriend. He needs someone who can overlook his momentary outbursts. She needs to be accepted for who she is. Sometimes, she may feel that she doesn't even know who she is or why she acts the way she does. Be a friend by showing compassion and unconditional love.
4. Resist the urge to try and "fix" the BPD person. There are medical professionals and counselors to turn to for help. To be a friend to this person, give advice when asked about professional help. Or, you may see an opportunity to point the person to getting some help. But in the meantime, just "be there" to love, support and listen.
5. Help him cope in any way you can when you befriend someone with borderline personality disorder. Let her know you understand her struggles in life. Spend time with her when possible and do activities you both can enjoy together. At the same time, don't allow the person to bring you down emotionally. If you feel yourself being affected in a negative way by this person, pull back and take a break from spending time together.