How to survive in a marriage when your spouse is Bipolar.

You can survive in a Marriage when one of you has Bipolar. You just have to be willing to work through the issues, together.

Instructions

Difficulty: Challenging

Things You’ll Need:

• Patience
• Gentle Understanding
• Willingness to not take it too personally.
• A Good Therapist
• Proper Diet/Sleep Habits

1. This is a person. Don't try to just "fix" them. Photo Courtesy of: http://www1.istockphoto.com/file_thumbview_approve/895068/2/istockphoto_895068_broken_window.jpg The first thing you need to remember. This is very important.
   You can not "Fix" them. They are not broken. This isn't a broken window you can just replace.
   
   It takes some love and understanding to get through the tough times.
2. Signs you may want to look for in a Bipolar Person. Photo Courtesy of: http://www.bpchildren.com/ProductImages/anger%20magnet.jpg Talk and listen. You will have to listen more than talk. Bipolar' s tend to be sometimes very chatty. Others they can be quite introverted.
   - This is the time to be more about listening.
   - Listen to the body language, reactions.
   
   If there body language in public would tell you to leave someone alone. Guess what, that is probably what they want. Remember let sleeping dogs lie. Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horns. You get the idea right?
3. Things to look for and understand. Photo Courtesy of: http://www.dthor.com/images/BipolarDisorder(Yvonne)B_W.jpg When they are in a rage. Do NOT take it personally. Often things are said in the heat of battle they don't mean. Sometimes, the rage gets so hard to deal with they almost blackout inside. It just wears them out so much.
4. Books like this can help. Photo Courtesy of: http://www.dbsalliance.org/images/content/pagebuilder/12140.jpg When he/she goes to Therapy ask if you can go. Often, therapist will see both of you as a sign of treatment of the one afflicted with this disease.
   - My first wife went with me. She often felt better.
   - Keep in mind, the Therapist does not have to keep information from the Bipolar Patient. (I found out, my first wife wanted to leave me. 1.5 yrs before she actually left.)
   
   Therapy together is a tough pill to swallow. You may accidentally hit a trigger, that the Bipolar will unfortunately not soon forget.
   - This can be exhausting but, you also have to learn his/her triggers.
   - Triggers are the situations, actions, words, music that can set off certain mood swings in them.
5. Too often what most "Normal" people take for granted Bipolar' s may obsess over. This too can be emotionally draining for the spouse/significant other. Remember, you might be drained imagine what the person with the disease is going through.
   - They can often be left feeling spent and exhausted after only two hours into their day and have to keep going.
   - Just wanting to eat, shower, brush teeth can be defeating them.
   - Don't be too afraid to encourage them. Sometimes a polite reminder can do wonders for both of you.
6. Crying may break your heart but, it helps them. Photo Courtesy of: http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs8/300W/i/2005/319/0/d/Crying_by_avariaGIUDIZIO.jpg When they are sad. Let them cry. I know it can tear your heart out.
   The sobbing and crying can feel so like a small baby weeping. Your going to want to help them, hold them. Ask first. Sometimes they need to just let it out.
   
   Often this alone can be cathartic for them. It releases some tension that would otherwise, be done in a less positive manner. I.E. Cutting, Branding, Attempting Suicide.
   
   Learn to read the signals. Even if your wanting to desperately hold
   them. Please let them ask for it.
   - If they have gone into the bathroom to hide and let it out. Let them.
   - Some people are often ashamed that they can neither control or hide these emotional outbursts. And often, they really have no idea why they are crying. They just get an urge to let it out.
7. Above all else try to be both honest and understanding with your Bipolar Spouse. If you want to get out of the marriage. Tell them. The longer you stay the more it will hurt them, later.
   
   Don't be brutal, just be polite and honest. Use words like, "I feel like."

Tips & Warnings

• Be patient
• Be understanding
• Be loving
• Remember the person you loved is in there they are just not themselves
• Medications are not a cure all. They may only alleviate some of the symptoms
• Therapy will not make the hurt go away for you or them
• Always consult your Doctor if your not sure how to handle a situation
• Remember most Bipolar fixate on Suicide. It does not mean they will do it.
• Don't take the words said in exhausted and frustrated anger personally.