How to Tell If Your Knitting Girlfriend Likes You

She Knitted You a Sweater?

So you've started dating again and you've met a great lady. She's attractive; she's fun to be with. Things are starting to move along--heck, you may have even been intimate together. Then it happens: she knits you something.

"Oh, how nice," you proclaim holding it up and examining the back not sure why she knitted it for you. Here's a quick check to tell how much your knitting girlfriend likes you.

Things You'll Need

• A knitting girlfriend.
• Unrequested knitting gifts.

Instructions

1. She knits you a woolen hat that doesn't cover your ears. Big deal, she would do that for anyone. Just as she would back over anyone when leaving the house late for work.

2. She knits you fingerless gloves. She probably won't back over you as she's leaving the house late for work--without a warning.

3. She knits you socks. She won't back over you as she is leaving the house for she knows how hard it is to get bloodstains out. The yarn has more value to her than you.

4. She knits you a scarf. OK: she likes to be around you--sometimes. If the scarf is in your favorite team colors, she likes to be around you on the weekends, too--but not with your friends.

5. If she knits you a vest, she's your girlfriend. Still, she has to filter out which friends you may get to keep. Remember: you didn't get sleeves because like every other woman, she knows exactly what she wants--and yet, she still isn't quite sure.

6. She knits you a sweater. You may now be introduced to her parents. She has decided that you are worth keeping, after she has reduced your number of friends once again. She is now also in charge of your wardrobe--and as such, is entitled to throw out any garment of her choosing. She won't tell you about it.

7. 

   She knits you an Aran Island sweater. The wedding invitations went out last weekend. She'll let you you know when and where at a later date. Wearing the sweater is equivalent to accepting the proposal. Wearing the sweater out in public empowers her to make all the wedding arrangements and charge it to your credit card. However, you stand a better chance of knowing about it in advance.

8. She knits you matching vest, gloves and socks--all in black. Check your life insurance policy. She could be getting ready to back over you again.

Tips & Warnings

• Knitting knows no climate zones. If she finishes a project on the hottest day in summer, and you live in the desert on the Equator, you will be wearing the new project on the weekend.

• At no time may you ever wear the project of any other woman. It doesn't matter if grandma knitted you a handkerchief when you were six years years old, from the moment you met her, she is the only knitter in your life.