How to Make Usage of that Michael Vick Jersey

Michael Vick was sentenced to prison for his involvement in dog fighting. He may never come back to the NFL, and you are left with that No. 7 jersey and an intense desire to rid yourself of it. But you can’t just throw it away. It cost too much money. Believe it or not, it does have some value.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• Michael Vick jersey

1. Sell it. Believe it or not, there are some collectors out there who will buy it from you. Now that Mr. Vick has gone to the slammer, they think of it as an antique.
2. Dress up your snowman. If it is winter where you are, then build a snowman and place the jersey over it. If some neighborhood kid decides to steal it off of Frosty, then so be it.
3. Make a Michael Vick piñata and use the jersey as the clothing. This has the added advantage of watching children with sticks beat the heck out of it. Always a good stress reliever if you are still stinging from the heartache he has caused your favorite NFL team.
4. Cut it up and use it for wash cloths. This is not necessarily recommended because the material used to make the jersey isn’t that absorbent. But if you are in a pinch for wash cloths to wash your car, go for it.
5. Donate it to charity. If a charitable organization turns it down, then you really know how far Vick has fallen.
6. Keep it. Who knows? If he gets out of the pokey and makes a comeback, you may need it again.

Tips & Warnings

• If using it on a snowman, make sure it is clear to the neighbors that you do not support Vick’s actions. Otherwise, you could stir up a local, unintended controversy.