How to Appreciate Someone Who Is "Quite a Character"

When I was growing up, one of my dad's phrases was, "he's quite a character" (or occasionally, "she's..."). Of course, dad made this phrase stand out even more in that he uttered it with a Rhode Island accent: characta. Given that the word "character" partakes of so many different definitions, from dramatic persona to moral rectitude, dad's dropping of his phrase certainly helped me to figure out what is meant by "quite a character," as I could compare the various persons to whom he referred, in order to distill some sort of commonality. Eventually I realized that characters were different from each other, but they all seemed to "stand out" from the crowd in one way or another. So the closest official definition of "character" for purposes of this article is one I found way down at number 9b of thefreedictionary website: "A person, especially one who is peculiar or eccentric." Note, though, that there is no absolute line in between the unfolding of fictional characters and the unfolding of "real" characters. In this article, you will learn how to appreciate such characters.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

• "People-watching" skills
• Reservation of judgment

1. Think of real people as the characters in books and plays
   
   We often appreciate "interesting characters" in books, plays, movies, TV shows and so on. Sometimes we even enjoy characters who aren't remotely saints. Though I never followed "The Sopranos," I understand that this show contains characters whom one might deplore in "real life" but become endearing to the audience. Such characters are often called "anti-heroes" in literature.
   
   Take a step back in real life and consider people as if they are dramatis personae.
2. Reserve moral judgment
   
   There is plenty of time for casting moral (or ethical) judgment later. In order to appreciate a character, one must open oneself to his uniqueness, which may often include some less than angelic traits and habits. But then again, angels are dreadfully boring. To pass moral judgment early is to miss "the rest of the story," as Paul Harvey might say.
3. Learn from characters
   
   I think everyone knows a person or two who is the life of the party, or who is otherwise outstanding to be around in small doses, but only in small doses. Sometimes I feel that way about Dick Vitale, the famous college basketball commentator and character to boot. He seems to have a wonderful joie de vivre and genuine human warmth (adds zesty marinara to every occasion), but at the same time you don't want TOO much marinara. Another college basketball announcer, Bill Raftery, seems to combine being a character with knowing when not to overdo it.
   
   You can learn valuable lessons from the virtues of characters as much as from their shortcomings. Referring back to the previous step, your learning may be curtailed if you view characters ("real" or literary) as black or white rather than as complex. Of course in bad literature, the characters are often portrayed as black or white, and this is part of what makes it bad--there's no friction, no ambiguity for the audience to sort through.
   
   The next two steps offer two specific (but related) ways to learn from characters.
4. Learning as seeing possible "ways to be"
   
   This is the virtue of biography/autobiography and also the virtue of observing characters in daily life. By appreciating characters through observation and possible further study, we gain glimpses of various selves that we too might become. I don't mean copying, but rather adapting. If you admire one trait in a character, despite that character's having other traits you loathe, you might try to incorporate some of what you admire into your own life, or you might simply be content to admire traits in others that you don't necessarily need to adopt yourself. There's nothing wrong with that.
5. Observational learning
   
   This is a type of learning that covers learning from the mistakes or foibles of others, and also learning from their successes. Characters, as we've discussed them here, tend to lean toward extremes in both mistakes and successes. This is what makes them interesting and educational. Perhaps these extremes are the results of risk-taking, with both deep flaws and peak successes having some correlation with the willingness to take risks.

Tips & Warnings

• Remember that reserving judgment is what gives us space to learn, and that we can assess characters ethically later.
• Don't become so caught up in the romance of a character that you absolutely fail to make ethical assessments at some point. You might, for instance, admire a Don Juan (playa) type character that you know (particularly if you're a young male), but this doesn't necessarily mean that such a life is without negative consequences or ethical shortcomings.

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