How to Date a Writer

Every writer has her own work schedule.

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Writers are undoubtedly an attractive, mysterious group of people. Should you find yourself dating one, though, the writing life can be a little different to deal with than dating someone with a normal job. Here’s how to date a writer without going a little nuts yourself.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Things You’ll Need:

A sense of adventure
Respect for the person you're dating

Step1

Understand that when you date a writer, she isn’t going to adjust her writing schedule to match your work schedule. Yes, she makes her own schedule, but most writers have certain times of they day when they work. For some writers, it’s longstanding habit; for others, it has to do with biorhythms. Treat her writing time like you treat your workday—as off limits.

Step2

Respect their privacy. Even if you become very intimate, every writer has a different revision process. You may get to see his/her new work immediately, or you may have to wait until it’s ready for publication. Either way, don’t bug him to see his stuff before he’s ready to show you.

Step3

Be ready and willing to go on unusual dates. When you date a writer, there’s a good chance at some point she’ll need to do some unusual research or cover events you’d never dream of attending. Look at the tractor pull or the surgical science museum as adventures, and she’ll appreciate your open mind.

Step4

Writers often have serious deadlines. When you date a writer, you’re essentially dating his deadlines, too. Understand that he may need to cancel a date at the last minute or that he may need to hole up for a week to finish up a piece.

Tips & Warnings

If you are asked to read something and offer feedback, know before you speak what kind of feedback she’s looking for. Does she want a general thumbs up or thumbs down, or is she looking for line editing? Writers are sensitive, and it can be hard to take criticism from someone you’re dating if you’re not ready for it.
Not all writers are good talkers. Being glib with words on the page doesn’t mean a writer will naturally be comfortable meeting a roomful of your relatives or even asking the neighbors to turn down the stereo. Learn to appreciate comfortable silences.