How to Write a Cover Letter That Will Fail

Here I will tell you how to write a cover letter that is bound to be a complete failure. This article will serve as a sample letter to help create your own.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• A pen and paper

How to Write a Cover Letter That Will Fail

1. Dear Prospective Employer,
   
   What can I say? I don't really want this job, but I need it, because I need money.
   
   By opening with a sentence such as this one you've already successfully distanced yourself and irritated your prospective employer.

2. However, I am interested in this position. I feel that this job would be a good step for me in my career.

3. Surely you realize it's a dream of mine to get coffee, do pointless mundane office tasks, take your orders and be degraded on a daily basis. The experience would be wonderful, and the pay and benefits are tolerable.
   
   Use sarcasm! It's your friend!

4. In closing, I'd like to thank you in advance for your time and reviewing my resume. I just thought I'd be honest with you for the sake of dignity.