How to Give a Man What He Wants

I think men are a lot less complicated than women. (A glaring generalization, but generally true.) All I know for sure is that the women I've known in this life (from wives to daughters to acquaintances) have often seemed baffled by how men think and what they want. This is a short article, so don't expect the silver-bullet solution. However, from my own experience, here is what men want and don't want.

Instructions

Difficulty: Easy

What Men Want

1. Remember that we want to be needed. We're protectors and problem solvers. Though we love to complain about it, we love it when we're needed to kill spiders, open jars, fix stuck windows, answer questions and give advice.
2. Remember that we need space. Men have a solitary streak and are sometimes downright unsocial. That's why we have shops in the garage, a den or office in the house, or just spend time reading in the bathroom. We tend to think and process things while puttering around doing stuff.
3. Remember that we like a woman to drag us into social events and make plans for us. (I know, this gets somewhat complicated. Leave us alone, get us involved. No wonder women are confused.) Nonetheless, most men like it when a woman schedules get-togethers with others...as long as it isn't with people we hate.
4. Remember that we like to be fussed over. Everything from putting a good meal on the table (food is still the best way to a man's heart), to being told to be careful, to having that spot cleaned or lint picked off our shirt. To most men, that kind of affectionate attention is more intimate than sex...well, almost.
   
   For me that also ranks up there with having a woman shop for me. I'm no fashion expert, so I get a kick when my love (who actually knows the right size) brings me a new shirt or slippers. That's love to a man!
5. Remember that we want to be in control. No, that is not the same as being controlling (although it can come close.) That's why we like to drive the car, hold the pen and fill in the blanks when doing the crossword puzzle together, being asked about doing thus and such, rather than being told.
6. Remember that we like clear signals about what you want. Guys love it when a woman says, "I like this" or "I don't like that." Even if it is something that goes against what we want, at least we have a platform for compromise. Besides, I really do value the opinion of the love of my life. I care what she thinks, but I don't like having to play 50 questions to find out about it.

What Men Do Not Want

7. Remember that we don't always want to get involved in activities. We just like being there. For example, many men don't mind dragging in the Christmas tree and engaging in the ritual cursing as we set it up...three times. But then we might just prefer to sit in the same room in front of the fire while the kids and wife put up the decorations. (Picture the Lion King on the rock watching over his family.)
8. Remember that we do not like "neediness" or "clinginess." Men don't always have to touch or be in the same proximity with a woman we love. We can be watching sports on TV with friends and still be as happy as clams knowing that you are out shopping or visiting friends.
9. Remember that we don't need to be changed, reformed or trained. Let's face it, most men are comfortable being messy, will never put down the toilet seat or always remember your anniversary. We're not projects, and we don't want somebody trying to change us. The bottom line is that men just want to be accepted and loved as we are by the woman we love.

Tips & Warnings

• It's been my experience that the best relationships are between two independent but loving people. My love and I love being together. However, we also have lots of outside, independent activities that do not include the other. That way, we both have space...and something to talk about when we do get together.
• You can't do anything with a truly controlling guy, the one who is so grossly insecure that he needs to monitor your every move, tell you what to think, belittle your ideas, and run your life.