How to Tell Who's Who on "Family Guy"

"Family Guy," an animated show on the Fox network, depicts the life of the Griffin family of Quahog, Rhode Island and their friends and neighbors. Here's a breakdown of the major characters.

Difficulty: Easy

Instructions

1. Peter Lowenbrau Griffin. The obese, alcoholic, vulgar, dim-witted, tactless, jolly, working class Irish-American head of the Griffin family. He has held dozens of jobs, been diagnosed with mental retardation and yet has an encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture.

2. Lois Pewterschmidt Griffin. Wife of Peter, mother of Meg, Chris and Stewie, homemaker. Born into wealth, she renounced her inheritance to marry Peter. In her youth, she was sexually promiscuous, sleeping with rock stars and dabbling in lesbianism. When Peter disappears and is presumed dead, she enters into a marriage of convenience with Brian, the family dog. She gives piano lessons, is a talented singer and shares Peter's scatalogical sense of humor.

3. Megan "Meg" Griffin. The unattractive daughter of Peter and Lois (Brian claims her real father is named Stan Thompson.) She is ignored by her family and unpopular with her classmates. She is deflowered by Jimmy Fallon during a live skit on "Saturday Night Live." Her two brushes with popularity occur when she bares her breasts at spring break and when she serves as lead singer of her family's "Brady Bunch"-style band.

4. Christopher Cross "Chris" Griffin. The overweight, ignorant, yet kind-hearted and artistically talented eldest son of Peter and Lois. Like his sister, he is never seen without a hat. He is frightened by an evil monkey that lives in his closet. He was briefly married to a native girl in the Amazon.

5. Stewart Gilligan "Stewie" Griffin. The baby of the family, Stewie has a head shaped like a football and speaks in a British accent. In early seasons of the show he was obsessed with world domination, but he has never lost his desire to kill his mother. He is incredibly intelligent and constructs weapons that he keeps in a secret vault next to his bedroom. Though he has expressed some interest in girls, he seems to be predominantly homosexual, and fantasizes that his teddy bear Rupert has the head of a bear and the physique of a muscular human male. He also has a half-brother named Bertram, the result of Peter's donation to a sperm bank.

6. Brian Griffin. The Griffin family dog, Brian talks, walks on his hind legs, smokes, drinks, owns and drives his own car, collects first editions and votes Democratic. He often dates human women and has a long-standing attraction to Lois. He has worked as a teacher, car salesman, hired assassin, writer, porn movie director and drug-sniffing dog, the last of which resulted in his becoming a cocaine addict. He is the most intelligent and level-headed member of the family.

7. Francis Griffin. Foul-tempered, crabby, conservative Catholic step-father of Peter. After Francis' death, Peter learns that his real father is Irish drunkard Mickey McFinnigan.

8. Thelma Griffin. Ex-wife of Francis and mother of Peter, she is also a chair smoker, drinker and gambler.

9. Carter Pewterschmidt. Wealthy father of Lois, he is openly contemptuous of Peter. He regularly plays cards with Ted Turner, Bill Gates and Michael Eisner.

10. Barbara Pewterschmidt. Snooty mother of Lois. Her other children are the frequently-married Carol, and institutionalized serial killer Patrick, who went crazy after catching Barbara having sex with Jackie Gleason.

11. Glenn Quagmire. Friend to Peter and an over-sexed airline pilot who expresses his prurient enthusiasms with such catch-phrases as "Giggity-giggity" and "Alllll riiiiiight."

12. Cleveland Brown. Friend to Peter and a slow-talking African-American deli owner. He divorced his wife Loreta after she had an affiar with Quagmire. His son, Cleveland Jr., is hyperactive.

13. Joe Swanson. Friend to Peter and a wheelchair-bound policeman with incredible upper-body strength. Joe is sensitive about his disability, yet is often loudly enthusiastic and gung-ho about certain activities. His wife Bonnie has been pregnant for the entire run of the show. He has a teenaged son, Kevin, with whom he is highly competitive.

14. Adam West. Quahog's delusional, paranoid Mayor.

15. Mort Goldman. A whiny, neurotic and wimpy pharmacist.

16. Neil Goldman. Son of Mort, Neil is a nerd with a long-standing crush on Meg. He spits when he talks, due to the retainer he wears.

17. Herbert. An elderly pedophile obsessed with Chris.

18. Jasper. Brian's gay cousin, married to a young Filipino man.

19. Mr. Weed. Peter's gay, Latin American one-time employer, the owner of a toy factory. He choked to death while having dinner with the Griffins.

20. Bruce . A gay man who speaks with an overly calm, slow voice, he works as a medium and CPR trainer, among other things.

21. Tom Tucker and Diane Simmons. Bickering Channel 5 newscasters. Tom has a deformed son, born with an upside-down face.

22. Ollie Williams. Channel 5's African-American weatherman, known for his tersely-worded reports, delivered in a loud voice.

23. Tricia Takanawa. Always referred to as "Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa," she does remote reports for Chanel 5. At a movie premiere she humped David Bowie's leg while he quoted the lyrics of "China Girl."

24. Vern and Johnny. A vaudeville song-and-dance act, murdered by Stewie.

25. Giant Chicken. A human-sized chicken who appears unexpectedly and gets into lengthy fist-fights with Peter that are parodies of action movie fight scenes.

26. Greased-Up Deaf Guy. A hearing-impaired man with a speech impediment. Stripped to his underwear and covered in grease, he runs through crowds, daring people to catch him.

27. Phineas and Barnaby. Victorian strongmen who work out with barbells and ride a penny-farthing bicycle.

28. Seamus. An old sailor who has pegs for arms and legs.

29. Death. The Grim Reaper. A very laid-back skeleton who wears a cowl and Birkenstocks and carries a scythe. He appears whenever someone in Quahog is about to die.