How to Retire Early as a Sperm Donor

Donating sperm can be a challenging and fun career for any virile male between the ages of 18 and 34. However, due to the physical and mental demands of the occupation, most sperm donors enjoy very brief careers ending up virtually penniless after only a couple of months. Don't let it happen to you. If you're one of the thousands of young men who are planning on making sperm donation your life's work, you need to begin planning early. Here's how to enjoy a productive career while planning for an early retirement.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Great sperm with good motility, a high sperm count, good freezability and morphology
• Good hand dexterity
• Ambidexterity (optional)
• Your own collection of "reading material"
• Lots of free time
• A financial planner

1. Locate a sperm bank or clinic that can assist you with the screening and collection process. Avoid "mail-in" services for sperm collection or clinics that advertise on television.

2. Make sure that you're not overweight or riddled with disease. Once you get accepted as a sperm donor, you're going to want to start donating a copious amount of sperm without fear that your samples will get hung up in the screening process. Time is money.

3. Before you get started, be sure that you're comfortable in the clinic's masturbatorium. If you have trouble getting motivated to donate samples, you may want to bring along your own personal collection of reading and wanking material.

4. Be prepared to have someone dictate to you how often you'll be pleasuring yourself, both the minimum and maximum. Five days of abstinence is the minimum requirement before donating samples.

5. Because you'll only be making between $45 to $200 a sample, ask if the clinic will provide you with a 401K or IRA account. Look into having your checks automatically deposited into your savings account where your donated samples will begin generating interest from day one.

6. Enlist the services of a financial advisor early in the game. Explore the possibility of an aggressive mix of stocks, bonds and mutual funds.

Tips & Warnings

• Work with authorized sperm banks or collection agencies.
• Consider working with more than one clinic at a time. Opportunities are few and far between, so you have to make the most of your "window of opportunity."
• Never store your sperm samples in the refrigerator at home.

Resources

• The Sperm Banks of California
• Advanced masturbation techniques
• T. Rowe Price

[bizewriter]

on 12/21/2007 You're too much. LOL