How to Minimize Hurt Feelings When You Elope

If a big wedding isn't for you, eloping may just be the answer. Maybe the fanfare isn't your style, or maybe you feel the experience will be so much more meaningful if your wedding is just for the two of you. However, keep in mind that an elopement is very likely to cause some hurt feelings. Family and friends want to be included in the celebration of your new life together and may feel left out and rejected. With a little thoughtfulness, you can minimize hurt feelings about your elopement.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

• Elopement announcements
• Someone to take pictures at your wedding

1. Understand where the hurt feelings are coming from. People are genuinely disappointed that they couldn't share your big moment.
2. Document some of your wedding so that you can share it with people who were not there. Take lots of pictures, and consider making a video. Sharing these with family and friends may make them feel more included.
3. Send out a lovely card to family and friends to announce that you've just gotten married. To avoid further hurt feelings, make sure you send these to all family members and friends who might have expected an invitation to your wedding. Make it clear on the announcement that you've eloped so that the people receiving the card don't get the impression that other people were actually invited to the wedding.
4. Speak personally with any friends or family members who are especially upset. Assure them that they are very special to you, even though you did not have a wedding to which they could attend.
5. Consider having a reception at some point after your wedding. In light of your elopement, a relatively casual event is probably appropriate.
6. Make your reception guests feel welcome and included. Be sure to talk with them each individually and thank them for their attendance. Try to include some interactive touches. For example, you might pass around a microphone and ask guests to express their well wishes. If you have wedding photos or a video, show them at the reception.

Tips & Warnings

• Most people have a short memory for these things, so don't worry too much about hurt feelings. Most people will get over it soon enough, especially if you make an effort to minimize their disappointment.
• Let family members help you plan the reception. Even if you do most of the planning, ask them for their assistance on small tasks. This will help them feel more included.
• Be sure to serve yummy food at your reception. If you can afford to, go a little overboard. Good food can alleviate hurt feelings fast.