How to Teach Your Child Problem Solving Skills

Problem solving is a necessary survival skill for people of all ages. Early human beings were forced to problem solve to ensure the evolution of humanity. Today's children are given fewer and fewer opportunities to problem solve for themselves because as a society we have grown accustomed to fixing other people's problems. Assisting others is admirable, but not at the expense of that person's well being. Here are some simple ways to ensure you teach your child problem solving skills that will assist them throughout life.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Set rules. It's easy to set rules, and then bend them to avoid reprimanding children. Be firm. If you set a rule, make sure you follow through. When they get in trouble, your children will be forced to reflect on their actions. When a child is able to comprehend right and wrong, and what rules they must follow, they will be more apt to be able to figure out how to change that behavior in the future, thus avoiding unnecessary problems.

2. Allow your child to fail. It hurts to see your child suffer or struggle, however the most important lessons are learned through our mistakes. Unless you child is in physical danger, allow them to learn cause and effect. A skinned knee, although sad, is just a skinned knee. Your child will learn that the behavior that caused the skin knee should be adjusted for future. Like my mom told me, you touched the stove once and never did it again. A child does not understand a stove is hot until they touch it themselves no matter your warning.

3. Allow your child to struggle. Children learn through investigation. If you are constantly putting their puzzle together, they won't learn to do it themselves. If you are constantly tying their shoes, they will have no reason to learn. Next time your child is struggling, allow them a few minutes of frustration before you give guidance.

4. Make suggestions. Instead of fixing a problem offer alternatives that your child can do to fix the problem. If they cannot reach a bowl on the counter, say you could ask your big brother to help you reach it, or get the stool out of the closet to reach it yourself. Don't constantly give them what they need. Give them options, and they will gradually learn that there are alternatives and choices to get out of a tough situation.

5. Be a sounding board. When your child is struggling with a decision or action, allow them to talk to you about their struggle. Employ the previous practices. Allow them to fail, struggle and learn. You can make suggestions, but do not swoop in to fix everything immediately. Older children will learn tough lessons regarding money. By paying off every bill every time, you only teach your child that they will never have to learn fiscal responsibility.

6. Be patient. Allowing your children to problem solve can be frustrating. Most parents give in, not because they want to fix their children's problems per say, but it's just easier and faster to fix the problem yourself. Don't give in. You will do your child a disservice.

Tips & Warnings

• Although well intentioned, constantly fixing your children's problems is a disservice to them.
• Allow your children to fail occasionally.
• Allow your children to struggle as long as they are in no physical danger.