How to Give Directions to Children

How many times do you have to repeat an instruction to one of your children and even after hearing the same thing over and over, they still can’t seem to get done what you need them to do? Maybe the problem isn’t that the children aren’t cooperating. Maybe they just can process through what you are trying to communicate. Long sentences, asking for several different things to be done in a sequence, and the increasing stress that your frustration may signal could be hindering the whole process. Don't worry, help is on the way. Read on t learn how to give directions to children.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

1. Make sure that your child is actively listening to you. He should be facing you and making eye contact. If your son is involved in a television program, video game or computer conversation, ask him to stop. Better yet tell him that you need him to do something in five minutes and put on a timer so that he will know when that time arrives.
2. Prepare your daughter with an introduction before saying the directive. Say that you need her to do something that will be fun, boring or hard, or will just take a short time. If your directions involve a series of instructions tell her that you need her to do three or four things. This will give her an auditory cue that she should begin to listen. She might demonstrate curiosity by asking a question. On the other hand, she might resist. Her body language and her tone of voice will help you decide whether you could postpone your request for a later time. If she is not acting very cooperative you could extend your introduction by saying that what you need her to do is important and must be done right now. Give her factual information about how long it will take and why it must be done now. Usually she will recognize that you are not planning to give in to her resistance.
3. Use concrete terms to describe exactly what you want your son to do. If you want him to get the green sewing box from the third shelf over the desk in the corner of the living room, don’t just ask for the box in the corner. When there is more than one step involved in the directions, use gestures that connect the sequence visually to the spoken instructions. Put up one finger for the first step, two for the second step and three for the third step.
4. Ask your daughter to repeat the directions back to you in her own words before you let her go to do the task. If she can paraphrase what you said correctly, good. If she cannot, then help her to remember. Use short questions like what will you do first or what do I want you to bring me. You may need to restate your request. It is very important that you use different words and that you simplify the directions. Shorten your sentences. Say, "I need my green sewing box. Go to my bedroom. Find my desk. Look up on the third shelf. One, two, three. Get the box down and bring it to me, please." Now see if she can tell you what you asked her to do. You may discover that the instruction is too complicated for your child to understand. Perhaps you should offer to help.
5. Thank your son by explaining how much he has helped you by being willing to stop what he was doing so that you could do something that is very important.