How to Consider if Adopting a Child is Right for You

The world of adoption is a mix bag of positive and negative emotions. Unfortunately, what has been lost in the "industry" is really considering what is best for the child. Here are some serious topics to review when considering adoption.

Difficulty: Challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Patience
• Open mind
• Love
• Compassion

1. The first question you must ask is are you considering adoption because you are unable to (for whatever reason) give natural birth to a family? Adopting a child is not a replacement for what you cannot do on your own. Yes, it's a compassionate thing to do. But, adoptees should not be given the weight of fulfilling a void. You should approach adoption in that you are providing a needed home and expanding the reach of your family.

2. With adoption comes birth families. Period. Are you willing to accept that you have not given birth to this child that you are giving a home to? That there are a mother and a father to this child other than you? It is a fact of life. It is not (nor should not) be something that can or will be denied.

3. Are you open to contact from the birth families? The details and things to consider with this are enormous. Do some Google'ing about open adoption or visit many of the adoptee and birth mother blogs on the internet.

4. Are you willing to accept that at some point in the adoptee's life they will ask questions? They will want to know answers. They will want to search for and meet their birth parents. This has absolutely nothing to do with you--it is natural for someone to want to know their roots and if you are unwilling to accept that they will do this, then you are inhibiting their social and mental development. When they do this, they are not looking to replace you. It really has nothing to do with you. It is a natural human instinct.

5. Have you considered talking to other adoptive parents to gain some insight into their experience? What were their fears? What are their challenges? Ask, Ask, Ask.

6. Most importantly, have you considered asking an adoptee about their experience? Without adoptee's their would not be adoption. Don't be afraid to ask an adoptee about their experiences. We are compassionate too.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't be afraid to ask questions.
• Do your research. There are thousands of adoptee, birth parents and adoptive parents blogs out on the internet. Don't be naive. Read! Learn!
• what you are considering is of the utmost compassionate and loving thing to do. You will be challenged. This is not all ponies and swimming pools of a type of life. It can be wonderful but it takes work, understanding, open-mindedness, love and much compassion.

[S56Pell]

on 2/27/2009 I say think long and hard about it and pray pray pray. I wasn't sure if it was the right thing for me to do, well not so much the right thing as in will he be okay with me. I adopted a family members baby boy and was worried about them coming to try to take him back etc...None of that has happened, we have a wonderful open family.Sandyhttp://www.rapidadoption.com/free_adoption_booklet.html