How To

How to Dominate a Game of Dodgeball

Member
By dazedkraut
User-Submitted Article
(1 Ratings)

This article will provide key elements for anyone (especially a grade schooler) who wants be the best they can be in the universally loved and loathed game of dodgeball.

Difficulty: Easy
Instructions

Things You'll Need:

  • A court (basketball or blacktop will work)
  • preferably 20 to 30 people (or your class size)
  • some balls
  1. Step 1

    Show no mercy. There is no reason to for you to ease up when you're two feet away from the fat kid with glasses.

  2. Step 2

    It's all about YOU winning. There may be no "I" in team, but there is an M&E! It's every man for himself..

  3. Step 3

    Don't be afraid to knock the pretty girl out. She may not talk to you for a while, but she has cooties and that's something you can live without.

  4. Step 4

    Don't let the teacher's warnings about headhunting bother you. Those hearing aids that fell out of the deaf girl's ear are plastic; they're not gonna break. You're only holding yourself back if let up now.

  5. Step 5

    If possible, take out the best player on the other team as soon as possible. Don't let them lurk behind the freckled red-headed twins and lull you to sleep. You must pounce like a cat.

  6. Step 6

    Don't get hit. This really should go without saying, but you know it is easy to let your guard down and get taken out by the kid who picks his nose during biology films.

Tips & Warnings
  • Don't wear red--it attracts attention.
  • Don't brag more than you can back up.
  • Apologize immediately to the cute girl.
  • Headhunting is way big fun, but will get you reprimanded by the teacher.

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