How to Abuse an Ice Hockey Official

Watching hockey on TV can be a bit boring. The puck is hard to see and they seem to skate back and forth on the ice without direction. But if you've ever been to an ice hockey game then you know it is full of excitement. True hockey fans know that part of the game is riding the official. Here are some tips on how to abuse an ice hockey official.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Get great seats. An official won't actually hear your abuse if you are up in the nose bleed section. And if they do happen to hear you, they probably won't respect you, because they'll think you don't make half the salary they make. If it's an important game, spring for the good seats, it'll be a better experience for the game and the refs will hear you.
2. Find out about the personal history of the people refereeing the game. This is mean, this is ugly, but this is what you really need to do in order really to abuse an ice hockey official. If they are divorced, find out. If they played hockey in college, find out. If they received a D.U.I., find out.
3. Gauge the physical (or lack of) physical attributes of the official in question. If they are bald, great. If they are fat, great. If looks like they work out too much that's good too. Notate as much as you can about how they look.
4. Make signs to bring to the game. While you'll certainly be yelling your lungs out, bringing signage is a great way to get your point across for abusing the ref. Especially if you have seats in their eye-line. Have the signs talk about their inept penalty calling, how their wife and mom hate them and how if they had any common sense they'd quit being an official, and move to some far away country where they can herd sheep for a living.
5. Get a chant going. This is a great way to exploit the camaraderie of people in your section or other parts of the stadium. Get a snappy jingle together which completely humiliates the official. Something like, "Jeff, the ref, needs to go. His wife is fat and a giant (blank.)" You get the idea.
6. Be aware of people around you. You should remember that a hockey game is still a family experience. So if there are kids in the area, keep it clean. It doesn't mean you can't have fun, it just means you should be respectful of their time at the game.

Tips & Warnings

• Get a group together. This will make razzing the ref that much more effective.
• If you go too far, the official can actually have you removed from the stadium. Try to keep it within the limits of good fun.